So I woke up today and decided to be the thing I hate most in an attempt to finally get over those jackasses. A happy, bright and sunshiny person. So freaking bright it'll hurt your teeth. Thank god I was at home the whole day so I didn't need to be bright and sunshiny to people. I could remain as my usual depressing self.
Don't know why, but I think we think that SISTIC is a fun place to work at so like a couple of us sent in our application for part time jobs. And within half an hour, I got a call to head down for an interview tomorrow. It feels like just yesterday I received a similar call for the F1 temp job. Deja vu much?
Nonetheless, I was kind of excited. Working at the call centre, being paid to hear people bitch and moan about whatever can happen to their tickets. Then I was told that's not all. Way to burst my bubble. Looks like I'll probably be seeing the SISTIC people again. Yay! They're a fun bunch. Or maybe that particular group only. HAHAHAHAHA!!
Ok, I have to go do some stuff before I turn in. My interview is at 11.30 in the freaking morning. Don't want to be late. Might hang out with Xue Yan and Jerrome tomorrow as well. There seem to be an awful lot of gatherings going on since this F1 temp job thingy. First Jon says he's planning one. Then I was told that Sharon mentioned something about a barbecue. All the gatherings, so little time. *sighs*
Time to go back to dark and twisty me. No more bright and sunshiny. Bright and sunshiny me is officially gone as of now. After 2 long days, I've let go. I've let go and I'm moving on. No point putting my life at a standstill just because of a couple of assholes. Yes, I'm moving on. For real.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
anger; the second deadliest sin
I feel much better now. I'm still a bit pissed that my friends don't see the big fleshy deal over what he did. Probably because they're not on the receiving end. One even gave me a "I don't know..." answer. What do you not know? The backstabbing part? The jackass part? Or everything? Damn it. I won't say I'm whole and healed. I've still got some unresolved issues. It's hard for me to get over things like that. Backstabbing is something I can't take lightly. I know it happens often and in the real world it's going to happen lots more times but I still feel upset.
I mean, someone comes up and talks to you about his freaking hobbies and goddamn hopes and dreams for the bright and sunshiny future? How are you going to defend against that? How do these people live their lives? How do they sleep at night?
Seems like I've not really gotten over it. Everytime I think about this thing, I just flare up. Even though I don't feel that upset with myself anymore. It's more like repressed anger towards the jackass. Can't wait to see those jackasses get what they deserve. What goes around, comes around.
Maybe there's really no fixing me. I'm a lemon. But as Raymond said, everything stems from one's willpower. Anything can happen. Who knows? At some point in the distant future, I'll finally be whole and healed.
I mean, someone comes up and talks to you about his freaking hobbies and goddamn hopes and dreams for the bright and sunshiny future? How are you going to defend against that? How do these people live their lives? How do they sleep at night?
Seems like I've not really gotten over it. Everytime I think about this thing, I just flare up. Even though I don't feel that upset with myself anymore. It's more like repressed anger towards the jackass. Can't wait to see those jackasses get what they deserve. What goes around, comes around.
Maybe there's really no fixing me. I'm a lemon. But as Raymond said, everything stems from one's willpower. Anything can happen. Who knows? At some point in the distant future, I'll finally be whole and healed.
what a difference a day makes
All day long I've felt damn stupid. With myself. I was fooled. I was so naive. I can't even begin to describe how lousy I feel now. How could I be so stupid? I actually thought things might be different. That I was wrong for the first time. That maybe due to my own prejudices I misjudged someone. That maybe I was to quick to judge.
In the end, I was played. I was naive and I got hurt. Insulted. Humiliated. Everyone tells me to let go. Just accept it and let go. Since I was not going to be seeing that person(s) anymore, it's going to be better. Just ignore it and move on. But it's not that easy. I felt betrayed.
I'm not trying to dramatise my plight or whatever. I really felt angry and sad at myself. How could I for a moment thought that things might sort of turn out ok? I should have trusted my instincts and they turned out to be right on so many levels. Next time, I'm not listening to stupid bullshit like "Actually, they're quite ok."
They're anything but ok. They're jackasses. Typical, pain in the ass bastards. That's who they are. Struting around thinking they're cool. Standing on their podium judging everyone. I don't mind people insulting me privately. Within friends or whatever. That's what everyone does anyway. But on Facebook? A SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE? Screw you, assholes. You don't get to do that to me. I hope I never see those people again. And to think he had the nerve to add me so I could see that he was publicly humiliating me. Screw you. Fun to hang with my ass.
Ok. I feel so much better. Ms Winnie was right. It's better to vent. You feel so much better. Thank you for that good piece of advice. Everyone tells me to just ignore idiots like said person and just move on. I tried, but I can't. I want to go up to his face and say "Screw you. You insensitive jackass. It's people like you who make this world a worse place for others. 2 face asshole." Maybe I should. When I see him next. Probably when I return my SGP shirts to SISTIC.
Ok... maybe not those exact words. I'll probably be less crude. Or maybe I won't even dare to at all. Yeah, I know. I'm a coward. I mostly blame it on my lack of self confidence and self esteem. And I blame my lack of self whatever on bastards like said person(s). As someone wise once said, "The world is filled with the wrong kinds of people."
In the end, I was played. I was naive and I got hurt. Insulted. Humiliated. Everyone tells me to let go. Just accept it and let go. Since I was not going to be seeing that person(s) anymore, it's going to be better. Just ignore it and move on. But it's not that easy. I felt betrayed.
I'm not trying to dramatise my plight or whatever. I really felt angry and sad at myself. How could I for a moment thought that things might sort of turn out ok? I should have trusted my instincts and they turned out to be right on so many levels. Next time, I'm not listening to stupid bullshit like "Actually, they're quite ok."
They're anything but ok. They're jackasses. Typical, pain in the ass bastards. That's who they are. Struting around thinking they're cool. Standing on their podium judging everyone. I don't mind people insulting me privately. Within friends or whatever. That's what everyone does anyway. But on Facebook? A SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE? Screw you, assholes. You don't get to do that to me. I hope I never see those people again. And to think he had the nerve to add me so I could see that he was publicly humiliating me. Screw you. Fun to hang with my ass.
Ok. I feel so much better. Ms Winnie was right. It's better to vent. You feel so much better. Thank you for that good piece of advice. Everyone tells me to just ignore idiots like said person and just move on. I tried, but I can't. I want to go up to his face and say "Screw you. You insensitive jackass. It's people like you who make this world a worse place for others. 2 face asshole." Maybe I should. When I see him next. Probably when I return my SGP shirts to SISTIC.
Ok... maybe not those exact words. I'll probably be less crude. Or maybe I won't even dare to at all. Yeah, I know. I'm a coward. I mostly blame it on my lack of self confidence and self esteem. And I blame my lack of self whatever on bastards like said person(s). As someone wise once said, "The world is filled with the wrong kinds of people."
Monday, September 28, 2009
thanks for the memories
Well, the time finally came. F1 has come to a close and it officially marks the end of my part-time job with SISTIC. Maybe I'm being melodramatic. But I'm already starting to miss my new friends. For some reason, even in the scorching heat of the blazing sun, time just flies. Especially today. I enjoyed myself thoroughly today. And I feel like laughing every time I recall today's events.
First I arrived at the booth early to find Wee Chee, Karen and Paul already there. Seriously. The reporting time was 12.30pm but they were already there at 12.15pm and everything was set up. Seriously. Then we just chilled, talk and laughed. I'm already laughing before I even type what happened. Karen's message tone was the ending theme for the Korean drama "Boys Over Flowers". It's a nice and catchy song so it gets stuck in the head. Especially if you've been hearing it for 3 days so far.
So suddenly, Wee Chee and I find ourselves unknowingly humming the song over and over again. And Karen was like "Is it because you heard the ringtone then you start humming?" and we were like "Yeah, all your fault lah." HAHAHAH!!! Oh my god, I think I spend more time laughing with my friends than selling tickets. LOL.
Then Raymond came and god, I love our booth's gate manager. He's fan-freaking-tastic. I swear. Damn slack and fun and nice and generous. He's freaking hilarious and knowledgable. I nicknamed him "Uncle Bear". And he's cool with it. I swear, I'm damn freaking lucky. I got a nice supervisor, assistant supervisor and gate manager. Raymond bought drinks and a big box of McNuggets for us on Saturday while Karen spent like almost 40 bucks (rough guess) on drinks and dessert for us today. Or yesterday. Whatever.
She bought 2 drinks from Starbucks which is around 12-14 bucks, 2 Ice Milk Tea from MOS Burger which is around 5 bucks, 3 drinks from McDonald's which I'm guessing is around 8-9 bucks and 12 custard/chocolate rolls from Renaldo's which cost 1.50 each. Seriously. I'm not joking. It's really around 40 bucks right?
I also managed to touch a 1 000 DOLLAR NOTE. I'm damn freaking ass serious. I was kind of bummed because I thought the chances were slim. Sales were low, we were close to closing hours and people usually paid by credit card or NETS. But suddenly, this customer came and paid me with 2 1 000 dollar notes. I was so shocked I initially forgot to check if it was real until someone reminded me. As Raymond said, everything lies with one's willpower. Haha.
So after we packed our stuff and went back to Suntec to deposit them, we RAN all the way to Gate 7 at Marina Square just to watch the race for a couple of minutes. Couldn't take any decent photos because the cars were a blur. I mean how can you get a still picture of something that moves almost at the speed of a bullet train?
Then we went back to Suntec to gather for a debrief. Had a cam-whore session with everyone from SISTIC who was involved and helped to move a bit of stuff. Then they broke out white wine and sparkling juice (seriously, SISTIC really rocks right?) and it was kick awesome albeit it was a small portion. I got to keep my pass but sadly, I didn't manage to get the 4 grandstand lanyards. Damn it. I forgot to ask when I came back from the race circuit. Really bummed. I'm now seriously considering a part time job at SISTIC call centre. It's under the Customer Service section and at least now I know some people there.
All in all, it was a really fun day and the people really made the job much more enjoyable. Might have a mini gathering soonish since we have to return the F1 shirts which are so ugly. Hope we can all get together again. It'll be more fun since we're not working. Haha!
First I arrived at the booth early to find Wee Chee, Karen and Paul already there. Seriously. The reporting time was 12.30pm but they were already there at 12.15pm and everything was set up. Seriously. Then we just chilled, talk and laughed. I'm already laughing before I even type what happened. Karen's message tone was the ending theme for the Korean drama "Boys Over Flowers". It's a nice and catchy song so it gets stuck in the head. Especially if you've been hearing it for 3 days so far.
So suddenly, Wee Chee and I find ourselves unknowingly humming the song over and over again. And Karen was like "Is it because you heard the ringtone then you start humming?" and we were like "Yeah, all your fault lah." HAHAHAH!!! Oh my god, I think I spend more time laughing with my friends than selling tickets. LOL.
Then Raymond came and god, I love our booth's gate manager. He's fan-freaking-tastic. I swear. Damn slack and fun and nice and generous. He's freaking hilarious and knowledgable. I nicknamed him "Uncle Bear". And he's cool with it. I swear, I'm damn freaking lucky. I got a nice supervisor, assistant supervisor and gate manager. Raymond bought drinks and a big box of McNuggets for us on Saturday while Karen spent like almost 40 bucks (rough guess) on drinks and dessert for us today. Or yesterday. Whatever.
She bought 2 drinks from Starbucks which is around 12-14 bucks, 2 Ice Milk Tea from MOS Burger which is around 5 bucks, 3 drinks from McDonald's which I'm guessing is around 8-9 bucks and 12 custard/chocolate rolls from Renaldo's which cost 1.50 each. Seriously. I'm not joking. It's really around 40 bucks right?
I also managed to touch a 1 000 DOLLAR NOTE. I'm damn freaking ass serious. I was kind of bummed because I thought the chances were slim. Sales were low, we were close to closing hours and people usually paid by credit card or NETS. But suddenly, this customer came and paid me with 2 1 000 dollar notes. I was so shocked I initially forgot to check if it was real until someone reminded me. As Raymond said, everything lies with one's willpower. Haha.
So after we packed our stuff and went back to Suntec to deposit them, we RAN all the way to Gate 7 at Marina Square just to watch the race for a couple of minutes. Couldn't take any decent photos because the cars were a blur. I mean how can you get a still picture of something that moves almost at the speed of a bullet train?
Then we went back to Suntec to gather for a debrief. Had a cam-whore session with everyone from SISTIC who was involved and helped to move a bit of stuff. Then they broke out white wine and sparkling juice (seriously, SISTIC really rocks right?) and it was kick awesome albeit it was a small portion. I got to keep my pass but sadly, I didn't manage to get the 4 grandstand lanyards. Damn it. I forgot to ask when I came back from the race circuit. Really bummed. I'm now seriously considering a part time job at SISTIC call centre. It's under the Customer Service section and at least now I know some people there.
All in all, it was a really fun day and the people really made the job much more enjoyable. Might have a mini gathering soonish since we have to return the F1 shirts which are so ugly. Hope we can all get together again. It'll be more fun since we're not working. Haha!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
good mourning/goodbye
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through 5 distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we've done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
I have exprienced loss. Twice. Both my grandfathers. However, strangely, I didn't go through those 5 stages of grief. I pretty much skipped everything and went straight to 'Acceptance'. Perhaps because I wasn't close to them. I mean they stayed at one end of Singapore and I stayed at the other. My paternal granddad passed away when I was pretty young so I hardly knew what was going on. My maternal granddad passed away last year and I was pretty shocked. However, I really didn't feel as sad as I should be. And I knew he was sick for a while but I always put off seeing him and in the end, I missed my chance.
Probably it was because the truth hasn't sunk in yet. Because it was too sudden. But like a couple of days after his death, I broke down. I was in school at that time and it was during my PE lesson. I had no idea why. Maybe it was because I finally came to the startling realisation that he was dead. That my granddad died. That I would never see him again. That my granddad... is... dead. It was like a river had burst its banks. I couldn't stop the tears for a while. I sobbed and all my repressed sadness in some deep, dark, hidden corner just flowed out. And I couldn't stop. I couldn't control it.
Maybe to some extent, we all go through the 5 stages of grief. It's human nature. We want to cheat death. Prolong it. We always ask why is God so freaking unfair. We ask why Death didn't take us instead. We ask if Death can take us instead and set our loved ones free.
Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.
Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
I have exprienced loss. Twice. Both my grandfathers. However, strangely, I didn't go through those 5 stages of grief. I pretty much skipped everything and went straight to 'Acceptance'. Perhaps because I wasn't close to them. I mean they stayed at one end of Singapore and I stayed at the other. My paternal granddad passed away when I was pretty young so I hardly knew what was going on. My maternal granddad passed away last year and I was pretty shocked. However, I really didn't feel as sad as I should be. And I knew he was sick for a while but I always put off seeing him and in the end, I missed my chance.
Probably it was because the truth hasn't sunk in yet. Because it was too sudden. But like a couple of days after his death, I broke down. I was in school at that time and it was during my PE lesson. I had no idea why. Maybe it was because I finally came to the startling realisation that he was dead. That my granddad died. That I would never see him again. That my granddad... is... dead. It was like a river had burst its banks. I couldn't stop the tears for a while. I sobbed and all my repressed sadness in some deep, dark, hidden corner just flowed out. And I couldn't stop. I couldn't control it.
Maybe to some extent, we all go through the 5 stages of grief. It's human nature. We want to cheat death. Prolong it. We always ask why is God so freaking unfair. We ask why Death didn't take us instead. We ask if Death can take us instead and set our loved ones free.
Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.
Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
F1 race day 2
I wanted to blog about my first day at work yesterday but I was so freaking tired. Not that I'm not today, I mean I still am but I've stubbornly decided my body won't get its much needed rest until it lets me finish what I want to do. I'll do 2 blog posts for today because yesterday I wanted to do a post in tribute of the FIRST episode of SEASON 6 of GREY'S ANATOMY but again, I was too tired.
Seriously... And my job isn't even tiring at all. It's just sitting in an air-conditioned booth selling tickets and answering customers' enquiries. But it gets incredibly hot in the afternoon so it's not like it's a bed of roses either.
Anyway, I was pretty nervous before I started. I had a lot on my mind... I was wondering what if I keyed in the wrong amount when I charged customers or what if I selected the wrong payment method on the system or what if they asked me something that I can't answer... basically a shitload of what ifs. Oh, and I was separated from my friends so I felt really awkward initially.
But it's not as bad as I envisioned it to be. I actually enjoyed it really much mainly because of the people. My colleagues (not sure if friend is the right word) are so so so much fun. We crack jokes and laugh like mad. Karen, our supervisor, Raymond (I think he's the gate manager?) and Paul are really cool people. I really enjoyed the times I spent in the booth together with all my colleagues.
Alas, time flies and tomorrow is the last day for the F1. Which basically means that it's the last time we get to spend time together. I actually feel sad whenever I think about it. I mean, I knew that it had to come sooner or later but now that it's actually here... I will miss the time I spent with my friends. Seriously. The fun times, the serious times, the jokes and the peals of laughter will be missed dearly. It's an experience I will never forget. If possible, I really hope to work with them again one day in the distant future. And I already can't wait to apply for the job again for next year's F1 if SISTIC handles the ticketing again.
Seriously... And my job isn't even tiring at all. It's just sitting in an air-conditioned booth selling tickets and answering customers' enquiries. But it gets incredibly hot in the afternoon so it's not like it's a bed of roses either.
Anyway, I was pretty nervous before I started. I had a lot on my mind... I was wondering what if I keyed in the wrong amount when I charged customers or what if I selected the wrong payment method on the system or what if they asked me something that I can't answer... basically a shitload of what ifs. Oh, and I was separated from my friends so I felt really awkward initially.
But it's not as bad as I envisioned it to be. I actually enjoyed it really much mainly because of the people. My colleagues (not sure if friend is the right word) are so so so much fun. We crack jokes and laugh like mad. Karen, our supervisor, Raymond (I think he's the gate manager?) and Paul are really cool people. I really enjoyed the times I spent in the booth together with all my colleagues.
Alas, time flies and tomorrow is the last day for the F1. Which basically means that it's the last time we get to spend time together. I actually feel sad whenever I think about it. I mean, I knew that it had to come sooner or later but now that it's actually here... I will miss the time I spent with my friends. Seriously. The fun times, the serious times, the jokes and the peals of laughter will be missed dearly. It's an experience I will never forget. If possible, I really hope to work with them again one day in the distant future. And I already can't wait to apply for the job again for next year's F1 if SISTIC handles the ticketing again.
Friday, September 25, 2009
post big 4-0 celebration
Yay! I've finally hit the big 4-0! I'll like to thank my parents, my sister and my other sister for supporting me every step of the way. For making me feel that this could be anything but a failure. I also like to thank my friends and Grey's Anatomy for inspiring a huge amount of my posts. Oh wait, I forgot. I'm not at the Academy Awards. Harhar.... that was my lame attempt to be witty. And yet, I find myself wit-less.
I'm exhausted. Deep, all the way down exhausted. And physically as well. I got to stay at Booth 3 which is a great thing because it's so freaking near City Hall MRT but I'm totally separated from my friends. Lucky them got grouped up in 2s and 3s. Although my booth mates are fun and interesting to say the least. This is it. Tomorrow, or rather today, is THE day. Big, big day. I'm kinda hoping I don't screw up tomorrow/today. I just finished an episode of Grey's Anatomy and I think it's one of the awesome episodes of the series. I cried. Inside. Like a baby. And I'm reminded of why I love this series.
Tried to prepare myself by reading up on the access zones for the grandstands but I don't have enough time for the individual synopsis. Too freaking wordy. I need to sleep early now so I can wake up early and have McDonald's breakfast before I head over. Found a new song as well (thanks to Grey's) and I love it. It's 'Drifting Further Away' by Powderfinger. Check it out.
I'm exhausted. Deep, all the way down exhausted. And physically as well. I got to stay at Booth 3 which is a great thing because it's so freaking near City Hall MRT but I'm totally separated from my friends. Lucky them got grouped up in 2s and 3s. Although my booth mates are fun and interesting to say the least. This is it. Tomorrow, or rather today, is THE day. Big, big day. I'm kinda hoping I don't screw up tomorrow/today. I just finished an episode of Grey's Anatomy and I think it's one of the awesome episodes of the series. I cried. Inside. Like a baby. And I'm reminded of why I love this series.
Tried to prepare myself by reading up on the access zones for the grandstands but I don't have enough time for the individual synopsis. Too freaking wordy. I need to sleep early now so I can wake up early and have McDonald's breakfast before I head over. Found a new song as well (thanks to Grey's) and I love it. It's 'Drifting Further Away' by Powderfinger. Check it out.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
short afternoon
Woke up today around 12 to the sound of 'Sky' by Joshua Radin blaring from my phone. I answered the call and Jonathan's bright, happy, sunshiny voice chirped from the other side. It was so "painful" it hurt my teeth. It's not you, I just hate happy, sunshiny people since generally, I'm downright depressing. Especially since I just woke up. Whatever.
So I quickly went to bathe and change and met Jon at Tampines MRT. Took a train down to City Hall to meet up with Brenda. Jeanette was supposed to come but apparently ice skating ranked higher on her "Top 10 things to do" list. We went to see Jerrome at Suntec and went off for lunch at KFC. Was supposed to play with Brenda's new DSLR but we almost finished the food before we remembered. Haha! Brenda bought me a shot glass from Australia. Ain't she such a nice friend? Aww.... Next time you see me Brenda, it will just be me and a bottle of tequila and it will be all your fault. HAHAHAHAHA.
Wanted to go walk around the circuit but we didn't have time and it was too big anyway. So we went down to Funan to visit Zane. We only stayed a while then we had to go back to Suntec to meet Jerrome and send Jon off to work. He's working now anyway, poor bloke. I would gloat too, if I didn't have a supp paper tomorrow. Speaking of which, I'm going off to study now. See, I can have an afternoon out with friends too. I'm not so boring after all. Hah! Denial.
I'm kind of excited about Thursday because the new season of Grey's Anatomy is coming out! I have half a mind to buy the season pass thing for mIO TV. Oh, and I'm going to watch The Ugly Truth tomorrow which stars the pretty Katherine Heigl and the hot Gerard Butler. Yay me!!!
So I quickly went to bathe and change and met Jon at Tampines MRT. Took a train down to City Hall to meet up with Brenda. Jeanette was supposed to come but apparently ice skating ranked higher on her "Top 10 things to do" list. We went to see Jerrome at Suntec and went off for lunch at KFC. Was supposed to play with Brenda's new DSLR but we almost finished the food before we remembered. Haha! Brenda bought me a shot glass from Australia. Ain't she such a nice friend? Aww.... Next time you see me Brenda, it will just be me and a bottle of tequila and it will be all your fault. HAHAHAHAHA.
Wanted to go walk around the circuit but we didn't have time and it was too big anyway. So we went down to Funan to visit Zane. We only stayed a while then we had to go back to Suntec to meet Jerrome and send Jon off to work. He's working now anyway, poor bloke. I would gloat too, if I didn't have a supp paper tomorrow. Speaking of which, I'm going off to study now. See, I can have an afternoon out with friends too. I'm not so boring after all. Hah! Denial.
I'm kind of excited about Thursday because the new season of Grey's Anatomy is coming out! I have half a mind to buy the season pass thing for mIO TV. Oh, and I'm going to watch The Ugly Truth tomorrow which stars the pretty Katherine Heigl and the hot Gerard Butler. Yay me!!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
live like we're dying
Kris Allen's new single "Live Like We're Dying" is finally out! Check it out under "random fun stuff"!
blank and boring
Hmm.... if someone were to ask me now "What's up?", I would reply with "Nothing much." The same answer I've been giving for I think at least a year and many years before that and probably for many years to come. I went blog surfing just before this (not sure if 3 blogs count as surfing) and I realised my life is so boring. One big boringness. A blank, white, empty sheet.
My friend said that reading my blog is so brain taxing. And I don't think I can fault her. It's totally filled with words and no pictures. Unless you count the ones of Kris Allen and Kris Allen. Oh, and the SAJC shirt. But those are like once in a blue moon kind of posts. I never really liked taking pictures. Never found myself photogenic. I pretty much have a low self esteem. Really, I look freaking unglam in 99% of the photos I've taken.
Then I realised that I have no nice or exciting adventures to blog about. No playing in the sea or walks on the beach in Sentosa. The only thing I ever come close to blogging about is watching a movie. But hey, EVERYONE does that.
I don't know.... maybe it's the way I am? I just don't really like going out. Partly because I'm lazy and prefer spending my afternoons watching TV series and soaking up the drama the way I eat my favourite food. But I think sometimes, it's more than that. Maybe I'm scared of being ridiculed. Maybe I'm scared of people judging me. I intend to try and change so I don't spend my time at home watching Grey's Anatomy on my laptop but that change probably won't come anytime soon. My life is like a blank and empty artboard. And I'm waiting for something or someone to add colour to it. Literally.
My friend said that reading my blog is so brain taxing. And I don't think I can fault her. It's totally filled with words and no pictures. Unless you count the ones of Kris Allen and Kris Allen. Oh, and the SAJC shirt. But those are like once in a blue moon kind of posts. I never really liked taking pictures. Never found myself photogenic. I pretty much have a low self esteem. Really, I look freaking unglam in 99% of the photos I've taken.
Then I realised that I have no nice or exciting adventures to blog about. No playing in the sea or walks on the beach in Sentosa. The only thing I ever come close to blogging about is watching a movie. But hey, EVERYONE does that.
I don't know.... maybe it's the way I am? I just don't really like going out. Partly because I'm lazy and prefer spending my afternoons watching TV series and soaking up the drama the way I eat my favourite food. But I think sometimes, it's more than that. Maybe I'm scared of being ridiculed. Maybe I'm scared of people judging me. I intend to try and change so I don't spend my time at home watching Grey's Anatomy on my laptop but that change probably won't come anytime soon. My life is like a blank and empty artboard. And I'm waiting for something or someone to add colour to it. Literally.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
a moment of peace
I solemnly swear that the world hates me. Ok, I don't mean world as in the people but as in Fate, Destiny, Cosmic balance, Universe, whatever you guys call it. Want to know why? Because I never get a moment of peace. First, I get a call from my teacher on the 10th saying in a serious voice that I've failed Essgra. Then I spend HOURS trying to log in to get my results while trying to cope with my extreme nervousness. Finally got it and realised I did average as I only failed EssGra.
So here I was happy and peaceful till I found out that SISTIC put their training on the 14th. SERIOUSLY. It clashed with my supplementary revision lesson and I was afraid they would drop me. So I called my teacher to see if there were other dates and emailed SISTIC to check as well. Soon, that problem was resolved and all was calm. Although I was still troubled by other minor stuff which was actually partly due to overthinking on my part.
So the 14th came and I gave myself a major scare because I thought I had the wrong time. Then, I thought it was the supp paper immediately and was so nervous I went to the toilet to puke. Afterwards, I met my friends for lunch and went home. Blah dee blah blah blah and now, I'm nervous again.
My friend puts some cryptic message on Twitter that there's a test on Wednesday during the training for F1. Seriously! I mean, what kind of training is this? I just thought it would be a simple training. Learning to use the system, how to act as a service provider, so on and so forth. At least, that's what I was told. Now, some people are going to observe us on Wednesday and we have to ROLE PLAY stuff in front of them and there's a test??? Oh, and my friend says he needs to go shopping and now I'm like "Oh my god, please don't tell me we have to get the pants by tomorrow??"
To top it all off, I have a million and one things to buy and I have NO MONEY. I need to replace my iPhone, get 2 black pants/jeans, get a blazer and probably might need to buy a DSLR camera. Where am I going to get the money? Now I'm so nervous and troubled!!! When can I ever get peace and stop being nervous? It really really doesn't feel good at all. Words can't describe the emotions I feel when I think of all that is to come. ARGH!!!
So here I was happy and peaceful till I found out that SISTIC put their training on the 14th. SERIOUSLY. It clashed with my supplementary revision lesson and I was afraid they would drop me. So I called my teacher to see if there were other dates and emailed SISTIC to check as well. Soon, that problem was resolved and all was calm. Although I was still troubled by other minor stuff which was actually partly due to overthinking on my part.
So the 14th came and I gave myself a major scare because I thought I had the wrong time. Then, I thought it was the supp paper immediately and was so nervous I went to the toilet to puke. Afterwards, I met my friends for lunch and went home. Blah dee blah blah blah and now, I'm nervous again.
My friend puts some cryptic message on Twitter that there's a test on Wednesday during the training for F1. Seriously! I mean, what kind of training is this? I just thought it would be a simple training. Learning to use the system, how to act as a service provider, so on and so forth. At least, that's what I was told. Now, some people are going to observe us on Wednesday and we have to ROLE PLAY stuff in front of them and there's a test??? Oh, and my friend says he needs to go shopping and now I'm like "Oh my god, please don't tell me we have to get the pants by tomorrow??"
To top it all off, I have a million and one things to buy and I have NO MONEY. I need to replace my iPhone, get 2 black pants/jeans, get a blazer and probably might need to buy a DSLR camera. Where am I going to get the money? Now I'm so nervous and troubled!!! When can I ever get peace and stop being nervous? It really really doesn't feel good at all. Words can't describe the emotions I feel when I think of all that is to come. ARGH!!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 24th
In less than 2 weeks, the new season of Grey's will air in the US. There will be lots of changes, shocking news and the fate of Izzie Stevens is still unknown. I have been pretty upset today because I have to miss my whole day of training tomorrow because of a 2 hour lesson. Less money and I'll be behind the others because I don't know how to use the SISTIC system. Great. But... I found out something awesome! A sneak peek at the new season of Grey's Anatomy. A 6 minute video featuring the beginning of the new episode "Good Mourning". Check it out under 'random fun stuff'!!!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
thoughts running wild
Yesterday, while lying in bed trying to sleep because I was too freaking nervous over the release of my abysmal grades, perhaps due to the tension and whatever, I started to imagine what I think could be a scene in Grey's Anatomy when Meredith was pregnant.
It's not really random because the actress playing Meredith, Ellen Pompeo, is actually pregnant in real life. Although it was reported her pregnancy wasn't going to be written into the story, I was trying to imagine what it would be like if it was.
*Cristina runs up to Meredith*
Cristina: Mer, what the hell was your problem?
Meredith: Hormones! Cristina, I am pregnant! I have someone growing in my belly, I cry for no reason every night and my boobs are all sore! Do we really have to do this now?
Cristina: So much for not having kids.
Meredith: It's a Derek thing. Well, he wanted to have kids and I thought since we weren't getting any younger, we should give it a shot. And then...
Cristina: It happened.
Meredith: It happened.
Cristina: So you're gonna have chatty kids.
Meredith: Yep, with perfect hair. Just like I envisioned......
*Meredith starts looking at Cristina*
Cristina: Why are you looking at me like that? Oh... wait, wait. I don't do babysitting!
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: Nope. I don't do babysitting. I do... I do... surgery! Yes! I cut people open and stitch them back up. That's what I do. No babysitting, not for chatty kids with perfect hair.
Meredith: Why not?
Crisitina: Because then they'll be bitching to me about all the crap in their lives as if I don't have enough to deal with with all the crap in your life.
Meredith: Cristina, if ever you babysit my kids, they'll be little things. They can't talk. Much. Please?
Cristina: Nope... still not doing it. Go find others. I'm sure there will be many people willing to volunteer to take care of chatty kids with perfect hair. Go find Izzie!
*Cristina takes up her patient records and dashes off*
I don't know... I tried to make it as close to the characters' personalities as possible. Kind of bummed over my grades though. On a side note, anyone who hasn't watched The Time Traveler's Wife yet, please do so. It's really worth a watch.... maybe two.
It's not really random because the actress playing Meredith, Ellen Pompeo, is actually pregnant in real life. Although it was reported her pregnancy wasn't going to be written into the story, I was trying to imagine what it would be like if it was.
*Cristina runs up to Meredith*
Cristina: Mer, what the hell was your problem?
Meredith: Hormones! Cristina, I am pregnant! I have someone growing in my belly, I cry for no reason every night and my boobs are all sore! Do we really have to do this now?
Cristina: So much for not having kids.
Meredith: It's a Derek thing. Well, he wanted to have kids and I thought since we weren't getting any younger, we should give it a shot. And then...
Cristina: It happened.
Meredith: It happened.
Cristina: So you're gonna have chatty kids.
Meredith: Yep, with perfect hair. Just like I envisioned......
*Meredith starts looking at Cristina*
Cristina: Why are you looking at me like that? Oh... wait, wait. I don't do babysitting!
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: Nope. I don't do babysitting. I do... I do... surgery! Yes! I cut people open and stitch them back up. That's what I do. No babysitting, not for chatty kids with perfect hair.
Meredith: Why not?
Crisitina: Because then they'll be bitching to me about all the crap in their lives as if I don't have enough to deal with with all the crap in your life.
Meredith: Cristina, if ever you babysit my kids, they'll be little things. They can't talk. Much. Please?
Cristina: Nope... still not doing it. Go find others. I'm sure there will be many people willing to volunteer to take care of chatty kids with perfect hair. Go find Izzie!
*Cristina takes up her patient records and dashes off*
I don't know... I tried to make it as close to the characters' personalities as possible. Kind of bummed over my grades though. On a side note, anyone who hasn't watched The Time Traveler's Wife yet, please do so. It's really worth a watch.... maybe two.
Monday, September 7, 2009
reflection
I'm not trying to brag or boast, but initially I thought I had a good grasp of the English Language. I mean, what with my languages being my best subjects and all. Then I soon realised that I was so wrong. I just read an article, which I won't say "put me to shame", but kind of made me seriously reflect on whether I was truly good at English.
The article was beautifully written, albeit a bit too crude, and the writer isn't even a journalist or a full-fledged writer to begin with.
It got me thinking... and I started to wonder if one day, I could write like him. The article was crude but funny, insightful and moving. The usage of words, the placement of sentences. I know there are people out there who after reading it will go "Pfft... I could write like that too. It's so easy." But is it really? It does seem like anyone can write like that, but if we didn't have a reference... if we put ourselves in the writer's shoes and we had to produce that article for the first time, would we still have been able to produce such work? I refrain from using the word "masterpiece" because as awesome as the article is, there are still better works out there.
The writer is from America, and we are from Singapore. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm ill-informed. But from what I've heard from a friend overseas, Singapore's education level is higher than theirs. The books we study for Literature at Secondary level are the books they use for A'Levels. But as I said, it might not be the case for everyone in general. And yet, not everyone in Singapore can produce such a work. I will leave you now with an extract of the article.
"While I'll probably never fully understand Michael's struggle, I've had a first hand peek behind the curtain of Parkinson's. I've watched my father -- a strong and proud person who successfully raised 4 arguably insane children - slowly, cruely stripped of his independence. His golden years robbed without explanation. It quite obviously sucks. Witnessing my Dad suffer over the years galvanized my need to step up. On November 2nd, I'll join thousands of other men and women to march in lockstep solidarity toward searing psychic pain and physical humilation.
One of the reasons I chose RUNNING specifically, was because (as Murakami so eloquently put it) my competition is the most formidable foe of all; ME. The person I have to beat is the guy I was last week. The person I was yesterday. Indescribably worse, those affected by Parkinson's wage a similar war in their own bodies every single day. Unlike a marathon, their struggle won't end in a shallow pool of vomit just outside Tavern On The Green while waiting for an ambulance. They continue day in and day out, silently battling away in the most personal of struggles."
Extract from: 'Why I'm Running the New York City Marathon', Ryan Reynolds
The article was beautifully written, albeit a bit too crude, and the writer isn't even a journalist or a full-fledged writer to begin with.
It got me thinking... and I started to wonder if one day, I could write like him. The article was crude but funny, insightful and moving. The usage of words, the placement of sentences. I know there are people out there who after reading it will go "Pfft... I could write like that too. It's so easy." But is it really? It does seem like anyone can write like that, but if we didn't have a reference... if we put ourselves in the writer's shoes and we had to produce that article for the first time, would we still have been able to produce such work? I refrain from using the word "masterpiece" because as awesome as the article is, there are still better works out there.
The writer is from America, and we are from Singapore. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm ill-informed. But from what I've heard from a friend overseas, Singapore's education level is higher than theirs. The books we study for Literature at Secondary level are the books they use for A'Levels. But as I said, it might not be the case for everyone in general. And yet, not everyone in Singapore can produce such a work. I will leave you now with an extract of the article.
"While I'll probably never fully understand Michael's struggle, I've had a first hand peek behind the curtain of Parkinson's. I've watched my father -- a strong and proud person who successfully raised 4 arguably insane children - slowly, cruely stripped of his independence. His golden years robbed without explanation. It quite obviously sucks. Witnessing my Dad suffer over the years galvanized my need to step up. On November 2nd, I'll join thousands of other men and women to march in lockstep solidarity toward searing psychic pain and physical humilation.
One of the reasons I chose RUNNING specifically, was because (as Murakami so eloquently put it) my competition is the most formidable foe of all; ME. The person I have to beat is the guy I was last week. The person I was yesterday. Indescribably worse, those affected by Parkinson's wage a similar war in their own bodies every single day. Unlike a marathon, their struggle won't end in a shallow pool of vomit just outside Tavern On The Green while waiting for an ambulance. They continue day in and day out, silently battling away in the most personal of struggles."
Extract from: 'Why I'm Running the New York City Marathon', Ryan Reynolds
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