Yesterday we celebrated Rachel's birthday and I'm really happy for her that it turned out so well. She really deserved a break. Poor girl. Kudos to Jeanette and company for the good planning and organising. It was the first planned birthday party I've ever been to and it feels good. Then there was that awkward moment. I don't know what to make of it. I mean, it wasn't yours to share? Ok, never mind. It's over. So over.
Anyway, I'm in my stuffy room. It's so freaking warm, and I don't feel like going out now. Even though the group project is completed, with all the remaining assignments, the whole cycle starts again. Since I got an F for my project, I kind of gave up hope. Seriously. I just really cannot be bothered anymore. I worked my ass off and I get an F which I totally didn't deserve. I tell people that I'm over it. And I mean it. But if that's the case, then why am I tearing up? I know I have a right to be upset but it's been 4 days since it happened. So am I supposed to have gotten over it? Is harping on it after 4 days considered obsessive? For situations like this, what is the limit and when do we draw the line?
But it seems that every time I see him, it just opens up the can of worms. The can I thought I had closed the lid on tightly and even put in screws as a form of safety measure. And I every time I see him, I really really really want to punch his ass face. I do. So badly it's killing me. I just want something really really awful to happen to him. Does that make me evil? I don't know. He deserves it. How can he screw up everyone's life and walk around like nothing happened? Is he retarded? Does he not know that he's making life difficult for not just me but probably everyone who's ever had the misfortune to meet him? Or is he just a dumb f***ing stupid piece of f***ing dumb moron? I apologise. I usually don't swear but I'm just boiling with so much rage right now that I could kill a puppy.
I really have no idea. What I want most right now is to pick him up, in all his sick and twisted glory, and throw him on the road into oncoming traffic. Then I want a truck to run him over, reverse over his body and run him over again. After this semester is over, I never ever want to have anything to do with him ever. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to be near him because god forbid, the next time I see him, I don't know if I can control myself.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
exhale of the semester
So here we are... about 3 or 4 weeks before the end of a semester and the start of a well-deserved 2 month holiday. I feel like after a very tedious and rushing 5 months, I'm at the exhale of the semester. And I'm sort of nervous and apprehensive as I approach my 2nd year. I know... it's 3 freaking months away. But I keep hearing stories about how the second year is so packed and busy and even the teachers don't deny it. And I keep wondering, how the hell am I supposed to juggle my school life with my work life and my personal life?
Just in this semester itself, I feel like I've been sacrificing my personal life. Honestly, just recently I watched New Moon. Seriously? Seriously? I'm so annoyed and pissed that I'm falling back on two-year-old Grey's Anatomy-isms. I'm watching that movie like a month after it's release date? And not counting that movie, the last movie I watched was The Ugly Truth which was like 3 months ago. I'm so angry I can kill a puppy.
In addition, we are going to be assigned different classes for next semester. And this is my take on this. What THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING? Is there really a FREAKING need for it? Come on, we just got comfy and cosy after 1 year... we have our own cliques... why the f*** do you want to come and separate everyone? Maybe I'm just speaking for myself because I find the whole thing just so ridiculous. I don't know... some people may be looking forward to it. I certainly am not. I keep thinking about how I'm going to cope with a new class when I know I'm not going to click with most of them. I think I'm just going to find people from my previous class and stick to them like a leech. That's what everyone will do anyway, from what I was told.
You know what? I'm just going to cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I'm just going to go and enjoy my freaking self and salvage what's left of my pathetic personal life.
Just in this semester itself, I feel like I've been sacrificing my personal life. Honestly, just recently I watched New Moon. Seriously? Seriously? I'm so annoyed and pissed that I'm falling back on two-year-old Grey's Anatomy-isms. I'm watching that movie like a month after it's release date? And not counting that movie, the last movie I watched was The Ugly Truth which was like 3 months ago. I'm so angry I can kill a puppy.
In addition, we are going to be assigned different classes for next semester. And this is my take on this. What THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING? Is there really a FREAKING need for it? Come on, we just got comfy and cosy after 1 year... we have our own cliques... why the f*** do you want to come and separate everyone? Maybe I'm just speaking for myself because I find the whole thing just so ridiculous. I don't know... some people may be looking forward to it. I certainly am not. I keep thinking about how I'm going to cope with a new class when I know I'm not going to click with most of them. I think I'm just going to find people from my previous class and stick to them like a leech. That's what everyone will do anyway, from what I was told.
You know what? I'm just going to cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I'm just going to go and enjoy my freaking self and salvage what's left of my pathetic personal life.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
out of the blue
Talk about a rude shock or rude awakening. Whatever. I'm too psyched to even bother which phrase it is. OH.MY.GOD. FOX just used Kris Allen's song "Before We Come Undone" on the latest episode of American Idol Season 9. Something I never thought would happen since The Powers That Be (a.k.a FOX) weren't big fans of Kris. Oh god... I'm still so excited and worked up. I'm watching the broadcast on Channel 5 later just for that segment.
I was eating my dinner when suddenly I heard the beginning beats and I only had milliseconds to go "WTF?" before they launched into the chorus of the song. If someone were to walk past my house, they would have probably thought that a room full of guys were watching a football match and were screaming when a goal was scored. Oh my god... I'm still in a frenzy!
I was eating my dinner when suddenly I heard the beginning beats and I only had milliseconds to go "WTF?" before they launched into the chorus of the song. If someone were to walk past my house, they would have probably thought that a room full of guys were watching a football match and were screaming when a goal was scored. Oh my god... I'm still in a frenzy!
Monday, January 11, 2010
12 Days of Ris-Mas
In tribute to the triple boomz Ris Low sketch from last year's Chestnuts play, I decided to make this post. The name of the play was called Chestnuts Does Christmas: Like A Hard Candy Virgin. And yes, get rid of the raised eyebrows and skeptical looks, they are referring to Madonna. The song is called 12 Days of (Ch)Ris-Mas and it goes like this.
On the 12th day of Ris-Mas, my true love gave to me:
12 months probation
11 day safari
10 ads from sponsorers
9 Engwish lessons
8 khaki jins (jeans)
7 credit cards from
6 different people
5 (MY FAVOURITE!) LEOPARD PREENS!!!
4-giveness
3-piece bigini
2 polar disorder
and a... diploma in hospwitallity
On the 12th day of Ris-Mas, my true love gave to me:
12 months probation
11 day safari
10 ads from sponsorers
9 Engwish lessons
8 khaki jins (jeans)
7 credit cards from
6 different people
5 (MY FAVOURITE!) LEOPARD PREENS!!!
4-giveness
3-piece bigini
2 polar disorder
and a... diploma in hospwitallity
i think you're hot
I just realised that I'm probably one of the few people who didn't blog about the new year or have said anything remotely resembling "Happy New Year". I'm working on my group project now and I feel stressed because I have no idea what to do. I'm so freaking tired of my school's schedule for assignments. Frankly, I'm highly annoyed and so sick of it.
I then decided that maybe blogging might help me de-stress, seeing as I've never blogged in ages. I seem to have a bit of a writer's block since Grey's Anatomy went on hiatus and that's bad. Can it be that my only inspiration for writing only comes from Grey's Anatomy? Anyway, just recently, I discovered something peculiar. Ok, it has been nagging me for ages but I found it more significant of late.
Why is it, that Girl A can envy Girl B and say that Girl B is hot without people thinking Girl A is gay but it is the complete opposite for guys? Seriously. Why are people stifling each others' opinion in a free world? Can't we openly express our thoughts any more? Why must we be subjected to ridicule for something we may or may not be based on a simple opinion? In a world where we constantly fight for equality between everything, including gender, why is it that people unconsciously oppose the very thing they all want so badly over the years? I tried talking it out with my friends, tried thinking over it by myself and I finally came to a conclusion. That people... are fucking retarded.
Time to go back to reality. I still have group projects hanging over my head without being bogged down by a question that I will never find the answer to. If you have time to spare, check out the video.
I then decided that maybe blogging might help me de-stress, seeing as I've never blogged in ages. I seem to have a bit of a writer's block since Grey's Anatomy went on hiatus and that's bad. Can it be that my only inspiration for writing only comes from Grey's Anatomy? Anyway, just recently, I discovered something peculiar. Ok, it has been nagging me for ages but I found it more significant of late.
Why is it, that Girl A can envy Girl B and say that Girl B is hot without people thinking Girl A is gay but it is the complete opposite for guys? Seriously. Why are people stifling each others' opinion in a free world? Can't we openly express our thoughts any more? Why must we be subjected to ridicule for something we may or may not be based on a simple opinion? In a world where we constantly fight for equality between everything, including gender, why is it that people unconsciously oppose the very thing they all want so badly over the years? I tried talking it out with my friends, tried thinking over it by myself and I finally came to a conclusion. That people... are fucking retarded.
Time to go back to reality. I still have group projects hanging over my head without being bogged down by a question that I will never find the answer to. If you have time to spare, check out the video.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
(500) days of summer
Ok, seriously, if it were up to me, I would stay in Osaka and never come back. A holiday really takes your mind off things. Makes you forget your troubles. I went away for 1 week and I forgot I had lot of things to do. Mostly school work and my part time work. I hate school. Really.
Anyway, my trip was really fun. My most favourite part of the trip was to Nara. It's really beautiful there and there are DEERS! I'm not joking. They just walk around the whole place. Like literally. So you could be walking down the street and a deer would be just right beside you. That's really cool. And the deers are so beautiful and cute. I wanted to bring one home as a pet. Too bad my HDB flat can't fit one. The aquarium there is really good as well. I think it's better than Singapore's. (Bracing for hate mail, 3... 2... 1... inbox full.) It's built like a spiral so you go round and round all the way to the bottom. They get marine life from the Ring of Fire and classify them according to the regions. OH, and the Japanese are REALLY REALLY polite. I think they're so much more refined and cultured than Singaporeans. (Hate mail. Again.)
Ok, but that's not the main part of the post. I know, I'm weird. I rather blog about some random stuff than the trip which is what most people want to hear about. I was watching "(500) Days of Summer" on the plane during the trip back to Singapore and I really love it. I felt like I could relate to it in a lot of ways. Ok, obviously not the relationship part because I have no one but the fact that the male lead, Tom Hanson (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) believed in the things like Fate, Destiny and soul mates.
I'm that kind of person. I believe in fairy tales-ish things like that. He met someone... someone that he thought was the one. In the end, the poor bloke got his heart trampled on and he was so distraught and crestfallen. I particularly liked the end where he was telling her that he doesn't believe in the fate/destiny/soul mates thing anymore and she told him that actually, he was right. That Fate does exist. Because she was looking at a painting at a deli and this person comes up to ask her about it and he became her husband. And she said something like "What if I went to another place for lunch? What if I had reached 10 minutes later?" And that he was right about it, but just not about her. At the end of the show, he found that someone when he went for a job interview. It was really heartwarming and touching...
At first, I was thinking "Crap, this show is spoiling my beliefs." Which I won't blame them for because I can't deny it's a very simplistic and fantasy point of view. Reality is much harsher. I thought that was what they were trying to tell. But the twist at the end really got me by surprise and it was really good. I still hope that one day, my happily ever after will come. If anything, this show strengthens my beliefs. Yes, I'm a person that can be easily persuaded by fictatious shows and cartoons where the princess wakes up after her prince in shining armor kisses her and he takes her on his horse and sets off for the castle, striding into the sunset.
Anyway, my trip was really fun. My most favourite part of the trip was to Nara. It's really beautiful there and there are DEERS! I'm not joking. They just walk around the whole place. Like literally. So you could be walking down the street and a deer would be just right beside you. That's really cool. And the deers are so beautiful and cute. I wanted to bring one home as a pet. Too bad my HDB flat can't fit one. The aquarium there is really good as well. I think it's better than Singapore's. (Bracing for hate mail, 3... 2... 1... inbox full.) It's built like a spiral so you go round and round all the way to the bottom. They get marine life from the Ring of Fire and classify them according to the regions. OH, and the Japanese are REALLY REALLY polite. I think they're so much more refined and cultured than Singaporeans. (Hate mail. Again.)
Ok, but that's not the main part of the post. I know, I'm weird. I rather blog about some random stuff than the trip which is what most people want to hear about. I was watching "(500) Days of Summer" on the plane during the trip back to Singapore and I really love it. I felt like I could relate to it in a lot of ways. Ok, obviously not the relationship part because I have no one but the fact that the male lead, Tom Hanson (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) believed in the things like Fate, Destiny and soul mates.
I'm that kind of person. I believe in fairy tales-ish things like that. He met someone... someone that he thought was the one. In the end, the poor bloke got his heart trampled on and he was so distraught and crestfallen. I particularly liked the end where he was telling her that he doesn't believe in the fate/destiny/soul mates thing anymore and she told him that actually, he was right. That Fate does exist. Because she was looking at a painting at a deli and this person comes up to ask her about it and he became her husband. And she said something like "What if I went to another place for lunch? What if I had reached 10 minutes later?" And that he was right about it, but just not about her. At the end of the show, he found that someone when he went for a job interview. It was really heartwarming and touching...
At first, I was thinking "Crap, this show is spoiling my beliefs." Which I won't blame them for because I can't deny it's a very simplistic and fantasy point of view. Reality is much harsher. I thought that was what they were trying to tell. But the twist at the end really got me by surprise and it was really good. I still hope that one day, my happily ever after will come. If anything, this show strengthens my beliefs. Yes, I'm a person that can be easily persuaded by fictatious shows and cartoons where the princess wakes up after her prince in shining armor kisses her and he takes her on his horse and sets off for the castle, striding into the sunset.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
losing my mind
I don't know why now, of all times, for it to happen. I was just surfing Facebook and looking at some stuff. And suddenly, I feel sad. And depressed. And I also feel nervous, stressed, happy, blah dee blah blah blah. I'm like on this roller coaster ride of emotions. I'm such a silly, emotional person. Maybe it's Facebook. It does things to people.
I don't know if it's because of my "many crappy issues" or the fact that I'm a self-hating guy. Seriously. I was asked today if I really hate myself and I said "I'm a self-hating person". And if even I don't like myself, how can others like me? Right? Retarded.
I'm rambling. I have no idea why. I have so much thoughts in my head, and my heart's bursting with emotions right now. But I can't put any of those into words. Why? I have no idea. It seems these few days, my answer to everything is always "I have no idea". Why? No idea. See? Told you. Stupid crappy laptop keyboard is spoiling I think. Crap. Crap crap crap.
I feel like crying right now. If you shove me in front of a TV with Grey's Anatomy on now, I'll cry my eyes out. I swear. I have no idea why I feel this way. As I said, I'm a silly, emotional person. So in conclusion, I'm a silly, emotional, self-hating person with many many severe crappy issues. Don't be me. It sucks to be me. You'll probably die in your sleep; suffocated by your heavy emotional baggage. It's a wonder I'm still alive.
I don't know if it's because of my "many crappy issues" or the fact that I'm a self-hating guy. Seriously. I was asked today if I really hate myself and I said "I'm a self-hating person". And if even I don't like myself, how can others like me? Right? Retarded.
I'm rambling. I have no idea why. I have so much thoughts in my head, and my heart's bursting with emotions right now. But I can't put any of those into words. Why? I have no idea. It seems these few days, my answer to everything is always "I have no idea". Why? No idea. See? Told you. Stupid crappy laptop keyboard is spoiling I think. Crap. Crap crap crap.
I feel like crying right now. If you shove me in front of a TV with Grey's Anatomy on now, I'll cry my eyes out. I swear. I have no idea why I feel this way. As I said, I'm a silly, emotional person. So in conclusion, I'm a silly, emotional, self-hating person with many many severe crappy issues. Don't be me. It sucks to be me. You'll probably die in your sleep; suffocated by your heavy emotional baggage. It's a wonder I'm still alive.
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