growing up

After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I’ve decided: There’s no such thing as a grown-up.

We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears, and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all, become an adult… you get a nasty shock.

We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we’re still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.

Someone wise once explained why there was a spike in the number of road rage cases. She attributes it to people not satisfying their "inner child". As we grow up, we take on more responsibilities. Being an adult? Totally overrated. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Anyway, at day, we go about our daily lives, fulfilling our daily quota of responsibilities. At night, we sleep to forget the day's worries through 8 hours of dreaming. There's a saying that goes 'We are all kids at heart.' People don't take that seriously, do they?

We totally forget to fulfill our childish wants. Hence, at night, our "inner child" keeps us up. We shove it into our inner depths in the morning, but at night, it rears it's "ugly head". Putting random thoughts into your head while you sleep - "I love grapes." "I left money in the pocket." " M in the P. M in the P. M in the P" "If it's a 1, i don't care, if it's a 20 then i need to get it." - and you stay awake all night to shut it off. Not to mention the freakin' song that just repeats and repeats and repeats. Then you realise it's your "inner child" playing with you, talking back and forth with you. You don't play with your "inner child" anymore, so it's wide awake at night and just wants to play. So that's why people are so angry and grumpy and rageful all day long because their "inner child" has kept them up all night long and their "inner child" is sound asleep now. Hence, the spike in the number of road rage cases. And people thought it's just an urban myth.

We are kids at heart. You have responsiblities, I know you do because I have them as well. But you've got to juggle them both, it's just the way the cookie crumbles. Sometimes, we resemble little children more than we want to admit because we are afraid to be called immature and childish. Embrace it, don't fight it.

I’ve heard that it’s possible to grow up. I’ve just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way.

We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope…against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.