crossing lines

In surgery, there’s a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off-limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line, unauthorized, is not tolerated.

In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it… that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?

Anyone who knows me during my one and only year in JC will be surprised that I'm dishing out advice on crossing lines. Seeing as how I've always been one for crossing lines and never looking back. Well, sometimes. But there are some people out there who have never crossed the line and they want to know what it feels like. And those who have crossed, but unfortunately, lose their way.

There's a saying, 'Forbidden fruits taste nicer.' Ok, I'm pretty sure I didn't get the whole thing right, but I don't care. You get the gist, that's it. You walk up to the imaginary, sometimes real, line and you are faced with a simple decision. To cross or not to cross? Maybe it's not simple, maybe it's harsh and cruel and just freaking tormenting. But we inflict upon ourselves these painful choices everyday anyway. From something as simple as what to eat for lunch to whether you should pull the plug on someone. Once you've made that decision, you should go forward bravely. No regrets.

Fine, let's say you cross the line. You start out feeling heroic because you like cheap thrills and probably broke a hundred rules crossing that line. You tell yourself, in an attempt to justify it, that rules are meant to be broken anyway. Screw it. But then after the adrenaline rush wears out, the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt, is up to you. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own. It brings its friends: Doubt and Insecurity. It's probably more insecurity you feel, especially if you are bogged down by rules and screwing the rules will not go unpunished if you are found out. However, if one crosses the line and knows how to turn back to rein themselves in, to try to patch things up, that's better than not crossing. It shows you have the courage to admit your mistake.

I have crossed the line loads of times without even pondering. And after everything I said up there? Seriously? But sometimes I never turn back, in fact, most of the time I don't. Even when I get caught. Or when I'm wrecked with guilt. Sometimes, all you need is someone to push or guide you gently to the right direction and naturally, you will find the path you need to travel down. Whether you want to do it alone or with your friends or family, is up to you. People say it's better to be with your loved ones but hey, at least you are on the right path.

We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trading the familiar, for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is…once you’ve crossed, it’s almost impossible to go back.

But, if you do manage to make it back across that line, you find safety in numbers.