a sum up of the past 8 months (part 3)

Right, so moving on to a new post because people are so fatally lazy they can't bear to read the whole essay. Time flew as usual and suddenly its Christmas. Although for some reason yet unknown to me, I wasn't in a Chrismassy mood. Seriously, what with all the decorations going on like a month before it happens and stockings over the fireplace (yes, I know there are no fireplaces in Singapore, just pretend there are), you would expect me to be all for the arrival of Santa and his make believe presents under the tree which our parents sneak in before we wake up.

Somehow, maybe it's because of all the damn Christmas movies which Channel 5 never gets sick of showing year after year, I sort of became very emotional and I mass emailed my class to thank them for the wonderful year I had. Except for one person, he's an ass really. So in the end, sort of in the spirit of Christmas that people keeps shoving down each other's throats and what Jesus would freaking do, I decided to give him the best gift possible. Gift of forgiveness. I'm being a better person, rising above it all for the greater good, whatever that means. Then it's the New Year. 2009.

Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season, is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Put your past behind you, and start over. It’s hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.

Nothing much happened, as with every other new year. I just went out with friends, watched the pretty fireworks and stayed over at his place. Considering it's my first time, I was a pretty good kid. Then while I was alone on the couch, I suddenly felt lonely. Really lonely. Freaking miserable. But it also gave me time to reflect. And I started thinking about what New Year truly means to me:

Who gets to determine when the old ends, and the new begins? It’s not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It’s an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope.

A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning.

But it’s also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.