these ties that bind

I'm so freaking tired. And I can't go to sleep yet because I have tons of things to do. So why am I writing a blog post now? I have no idea. It's just that on the way home, I reflected on some things and felt that I should write it down.

Today was a very very long day. I mean it was from 8 in the morning till now. Seriously. I had work in the morning till 5.45pm. My back was aching like mad from sitting in the seat the whole day. I'm still feeling it now, though not so much as before. Then I went down to Sherraine's birthday party with Jerrome and Xue Yan. Ok, seriously guys, if you happen to read this, STOP MAKING FUN OF MY KNIGHT IN SHINING WHATEVER. It may be just some fantasy or a fairytale to you, but I do believe in it. So stop. Please.

Anyway, the party started off quite late 'cause the freaking charcoal refused to light up. Finally got the fire started after like 30 minutes, I think. Then I played a bit of Left for Dead 2 on Jerrome's laptop. Then basically we just barbecued food, lots and lots of it. Pork chops, chicken wings, some weird stick thingy with sausage and tomatoes and there was even stingray. Didn't really eat much of the BBQ food because I ate more of the cooked food so I was kind of full.

Later on, we played Sherraine's version of bridge which is so different. Brenda won and Jonathan lost. Which basically meant that he had to do a forfeit. Poor bloke. They actually wanted him to do a pole dance with the lamp post. But later we just had him do a dance around the tree. Oh god, it was really funny. He was kind of embarrassed though. I mean, can you blame him? But we were nice. We decided to keep the video private and not open it to public.

I really had so much fun just now and for once, probably one of the few instances in my life, I felt genuinely happy. And on the way back, I started to question myself. Could I be wrong? Maybe I am? Maybe everything's fine and will be fine? I mean, we're fine people. We do fine. I don't know. But this gathering surely proved one thing. That maybe... just maybe... everything's not as bleak as I thought it would be. For me at least. Maybe people like me deserve a second chance. That we actually can have a normal, happy life.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. At least that's what the philosophers and the poets say. I could never actually see it though. But now, I can see it. It's faint... flickering... like it might disappear any second. But I can definitely see it. Defnitely.