tender moments

Standing in the middle of a packed train can really jumpstart those brain cells. No seriously... most of the time, I get the urge to write while I'm on the way home on the train and I'm lost in my own thoughts. It all started when a lady hit me with her Neverfull LV bag, which is kind of a humiliation because I absolutely hate that bag. It's so worn to death, it looks tacky and it's just ugly.

Anyway, I have just finished watching Love and Other Drugs with my friend. It's a romantic comedy starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. Jake's really gorgeous and he has such mesmerising blue eyes. You kind of feel you can get lost in them just by gazing into those eyes. If the eyes are the window into a person's soul, Jake has got a really beautiful soul.

God... I seem to gush at almost every Hollywood actor. I've really got to stop. Haha. Everyone seems to be "gorgeous" to me... Crap, I need to find a new adjective. I digress...

Like I was saying, this lady accidentally hit me with her LV bag and then it's like someone flipped a switch in me and voilà, the words started flowing.

While watching Love and Other Drugs, I discovered it pretty much panned out like a simple, slightly clichéd love story. I was waiting for something big, good or bad, to happen but nada... zilch. Just a simple love story of a pharmaceutical rep who met a girl with Parkinson's, fell in love with her and then pushed her away by trying desperately to find a cure for her which led her to think that he wasn't able to accept her sickness. In the end, he realised he just wanted her and was willing to love her for who she is. I know, it sounds corny.

Initially, I was disappointed with the film about halfway through and only at the end when he was trying to win her back and my eyes were glistening with tears, did I realise the true beauty of this film.

Simplicity.

It's a simple love story that warms your heart and that's the beauty of it. Often, our lives are so complicated and full of drama that when watching love stories, we want them to mirror our crappy, drama-filled lives so we feel relevant and connected. As such, we very often neglect the allure of simplicity. In simplicity, we find happiness. In simplicity, we find solace and comfort. In simplicity... well, in simplicity, we find acceptance. We let down our defensive guards and we let our walls come down and let ourselves feel vulnerable.

Simple gestures like bringing someone food, or sending someone flowers, or even as basic as not forgetting someone's birthday can bring true happiness to someone. Even if it's just a fleeting moment, at least they've experienced pure bliss and joy. Simplicity......

Another point I want to bring up is the "existence" of that one perfect guy who compliments you. Many people, okay... this is my wish but it's essentially the same as others, many people wish to find their McDreamy who'll say McDreamy things to them. Someone who understands you more than you do, who accepts you no matter how damaged you are and who loves you more than anything in the world.

And we see so many of these characters in television and movies and Jake's character is one classic example. He's not perfect, he's screwed up and flawed but he knows for sure that he loves Anne's character and wants to take care of her for the rest of his life. So by watching such shows, we have a fantasy of one day meeting our knight in shining whatever, especially if you're exposed to it from a young age.

But as we grow up and hear the stories and see the people, we start to lose confidence in finding that person. We begin to believe he never existed, that he's the stuff of dreams and our fantasy shatters. People say we're unrealistic for harbouring such hopes. I understand where they're coming from because I'm grappling with such feelings as well. I think, should I just give up? I've never been in a relationship but those stories just seem way too real. But then again, do I want to abandon my dream and become like "those people"? "Those people" who lose hope fast and give in to the harsh reality and say they're "being practical". Do I want to be normal and like everyone else?

I feel like this "dream" of mine is what sets me apart from the crowd. How many of you out there can honestly say you haven't given hope on finding your true love? Probably a handful, probably lesser. In a news article I read somewhere a while ago, they conducted a survey amongst married couples and found out that, I think, around 70% of them said they know their spouse isn't "the one". So what exactly does this reflect? I think we often just give up and give in and settle down for the sake of doing so. Because apparently we "need to be practical."

This quote from Grey's really struck a chord in me. Yes, I know it's from a television show, ergo, it's not real but just read on.

"Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He's still an optimist! He still believes in true love and magic and soul mates."

And that's my question to you guys. Do you know what kind of a miracle that people like me, you, and some others still exist? Do you know how rare it is? I think that's the whole point. In the face of reality, in the face of our own experiences and others', we are still able to remain steadfast in our beliefs. And how many people can do that?

This post, I guess, is in a lot of ways about me as well. I'm trying to convince myself to hold true to my beliefs because my confidence started to waver. It may be the stuff of dreams and movies and television but I want to believe that some day, I will meet my McDreamy... some day, I will meet my knight in shining whatever. And I have to believe in that as well because the future keeps me grounded and sane... I have to believe because my beliefs let me know that I'm unique. That I'm different. My beliefs let me know that I'm something else...