bright and shiny

For some reason, since I started watching Grey's Anatomy, I've always been able to identify myself with the main character, Meredith Grey. I don't know if it's the daddy issues, or the mummy issues or the severe abandonment issues which is the reason why I've always felt such a strong link. Call me crazy, but somehow I feel a deep connection with that character.

Maybe because on some weird emotional level I feel like I understand what she's going through because I'm kinda going through the same things as her. Obviously the problems are not as serious but I do face similar problems, and it really drains me emotionally at times.

She described herself as "dark and twisty", "scary and damaged" and somehow I adopted those same terms for myself. Ok, maybe that's where I'm going crazy. She describes herself as such because she knows that her problems of the past have emotionally stunted her to a point where she's afraid of commitment. Afraid to love someone because she's afraid to want him.

Though I don't have the same emotional blockage as her, but I face my own issues as well. I'm socially awkward amongst new people. I keep quiet and try not to draw attention to myself because I'm afraid of being judged. Afraid of being mocked and marginalised. I'm a social retard. And when the proverbial ice is broken, I become a creepy, chatting freak. A strongly opinionated person who can't seem to shut up and probably offends everyone around me. I'm the weirdo at the back of my class who chews his pencils, or hair, or whatever.

And I have serious self-esteem issues, which is kind of my fault because it stems from physical causes, but my parents aren't making it any easier for me. My mum storms in at 3 in the morning just to tell me that I'm a bastard and a good for nothing. Hah! So much for a healthy family environment, eh?

Looking back at my problems, I realised they stem from my toxic family environment. And I'm scared that when I grow up, I might not grow up to be the person I envisioned myself to be. Looking at Meredith Grey, I realised that's who I might become. I know it's just a TV show but the psychological/emotional effects of an unhealthy family environment are very, very real.

I don't wanna be scared to fall in love. I want to embrace it. The romance, the passion and the drama. All of it. I'm a very romantic person and I believe in things like soulmates and true love. Lingering gazes across the corridors, secret rendezvous in the elevators, the brushing of fingertips as you walk past each other... those are some of the things that I know are very unrealistic, but yet still hope will happen to me. And if it really does, if I do find my happy ending, I don't wanna find myself unable to accept it because I'm scared to.

Yet, the solution to my problem is very simple. Really. All I need is that one change I've been working for for so long. It's not gonna be a walk in the park but I know that once I've managed to achieve it, I'll finally be able to walk out of the shadow of my past.

I have grown very attached to describing myself as a negative and pessimistic person. That I'm dark and twisty, scary and damaged. Though I wish I can find someone who will accept the darker side of me, and tell me that being dark and twisty isn't a flaw but a strength for it makes me who I am, I wanna try and be bright and shiny. I don't wanna be a moody, brooding person who hates happy, sunshiny people for the rest of my life. I wanna try and be one of those happy people because I know I deserve better. I know I'm better than this.

I sincerely hope I can change my life and turn it around. When that happens, I'll walk in proud and tall, announcing to my friends that today is the day that dark and twisty Bryan disappears forever and bright and shiny Bryan takes his place and life is good...

pick me. choose me. love me.

I think Grey fans will forever remember those 6 words for the rest of their lives. I know I definitely would. I gasped and went "Oh my god" when I saw that scene. And it was just brilliant and touching. Imagine a girl, standing in front of a guy, telling him how much she loves him and asking him to choose her.

There was just this sense of vulnerability coming from Meredith. She put herself out there. She became emotionally invested in somebody. She knew she might face the cruel reality of rejection but yet she still did it. She was able to love somebody.

Those familiar with the show will be able to identify with what I've said. We know Meredith is dark and twisty, scary and damaged. She has abandonment issues and mummy issues and had to face the brunt of it when her relationship with Derek was found out. She knows, as well as we do, that she's so emotionally scarred that it's hard for her to let someone in. Hard for her to completely trust someone and love someone because she's scared to want him. And even after the wife thing with Derek, she finally realised how much she loves him and wants him that she was able to overcome her emotional difficulties, although not completely.

I know it's just a scripted TV show but sometimes, it just touches you and it's hard to deny that. Somehow, I can't imagine myself saying that but I think I will if I need to. I'm just that much of a sucker for romance. And I hope that one day, someone will say those same words to me.

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me." - Meredith Grey

Chestnuts 3D: Fried Monty aka Nightmare on Glee Street (Part 2)

Gosh, this recap is taking forever and I apologise but there's no way I'm gonna squash the miracle of theatre, which is Chestnuts, into 1 bloody page. So suck it up and live with it.

A sketch that deserves mention would be "Can You Service?" which parodies Singapore's own "Can You Serve?" reality TV competition series, and even Denise Keller. Not gonna spoil the fun but this sketch teaches you that the customers are not always right and that it is alright to not make things easy for the customers.

Another prominent sketch in the first half was Pondan News Asia. I have obviously heard of this sketch before and it's always the sketch I look forward to. What can be more entertaining than 2 gay men bringing you the latest, hardest and horniest news in entertainment? The focus was on iPondan, the new product of Apple or rather the "sister" product to iPhone.

The hosts, Jonathan and Rodney, invited the "representative of Apple" to introduce the audience to the new apps which catered to the users, for example, an app which could identify the gays around you by a pink dot. Furthermore, the iPondan didn't have antennae issues like the iPhone 4, a problem that was easily resolved by the difference in the way gay men and straight men hold their phones. Genius!

Jonathan and Rodney were of course excited (no pun intended) and Rodney exclaimed about the large number of pink dots in a 50m radius. The funniest has to be, hands down, the app which could allow you to view the profiles of people around you provided they were logged in. They found certain interesting profiles such as "Cherry Boy", "The Expandables" and "Optimus Prime". The app then revealed that the spokesperson for Apple was not as geeky and innocent as we thought, further reiterated by Jonathan's cheeky comment, "iPondan? Not so far off!" I particularly enjoyed Rodney's portrayal of a gay man in this sketch for his performance was so real and I wish he had more lines.

The Ip Man 2 parody provided us with an interesting insight at the 5 classifications of ratings, namely G, PG, NC16, M18 and R21, after which, the audience were allowed an interval.

The second half of Chesnuts had more "meat" and contained parodies of Inception (which explained how Jonathan had the idea to become a playwright for comedy sketches), December Rains, Ris Low's sister, and Fried Rice Paradise which was parodied to the music of Lady Gaga.

I have to applaud firstly, Jonathan Lim for his wonderful simultaneous performance of "Home" and a song from December Rains titled "请你告诉他". He switched between the 2 songs every line and he must have switched probably, I don't know... 30 times? Also, without a doubt, he has to be given the highest accolade possible for script writing for his genius and creative script for Chestnuts.

And secondly, Judee Tan for her amazing and perfect imitation of Ris Low's sister, Ivory Low IQ. Her accent is spot on, including the awkward pauses and mispronounced syllables. I particularly enjoyed the way she said "knnccb". She taught us the YOG cheer performed by JJ Lam and even sang for us. Oh god, bless thy soul. That being said, that was easily one of the best (if not the best) sketch in the play and it thoroughly deserved a standing ovation. I was even lucky enough to have the honor of speaking to Judee in person to convey to her how astounding her performance was as Ris Low and Ivory Low.

Random note: I really like Rodney's accent. Somehow it doesn't sound false or forced when Singaporeans try to speak with an accent. I don't know, is it just me? But I would totally listen if he read the phonebook or did the reading of Gatz.

Overall, Chestnuts has delivered yet another impeccable performance. I know it's just my second year and who am I to judge or critique? But trust me when I say you have to catch this play next year and I really suggest that you be prepared because you will be laughing so hard at their punchlines, fantastic one-liners and sexual innuendos that you would wish you could literally roll up and down the carpeted aisle. I have even included a picture of this year's nutty cast just for your entertainment, just make sure you clean up after you're done.


From left: Rodney, Judee, Dwayne and Jonathan

Chestnuts 3D: Fried Monty aka Nightmare on Glee Street (Part 1)

Woah, what a mouthful of words! But yet, those will be the words forever etched in my mind as I look back on the craziness and pure ingeniousness which is called, yes... Chestnuts 3D: Fried Monty aka Nightmare on Glee Street.

Before we start on this lengthy recap, let me just put it out to the universe that I'm not a fan of theatre or Broadway. I never ever go to plays and am one of those losers who do not know why The Bridge Project incites buzz from the theatre community. However, Chestnuts will and always be the one sketch that I will never miss and will actually see twice, like I did this year!

I was introduced to Chestnuts when I was 16/17, by my sister who has been an avid fan for many years. She used to regale me with hilarious stories from her experience and I, for lack of a better term to adequately express it, rolled on the floor laughing my ass off. Since living vicariously through my sister could crack me up, I could hardly wait to see the play in person. So it was with great anticipation when I was finally able to attend my virgin Chestnuts play last December, Chestnuts Does Christmas: Like a Hard Candy Virgin. Ahh... the irony of ironies. But that, sisters and sisters, is a story for another time and another day. Needless to say, it could all be summed up in one word: EPIC. I cashed the V-card with Chestnuts and I was so satisfied, bitches!

I was told that Chestnuts was usually a Christmas play, so it was with great surprise that I found out Chestnuts was doing their annual sketch in August this year and although there were some hiccups, I managed to obtain my tickets albeit later than last year. In the days leading to the play (August 30th), Chestnuts was all I could think about and I definitely wasn't in the mood to study for my exams in the coming week.

I went with a friend of mine who was very very interested after watching the Ris Low sketch from last year and she was excited about her virgin Chestnuts experience. I could totally relate to that. It was again held at Jubilee Hall in Raffles Hotel and the moment we stepped in, I could already feel the excitement building up. I have obviously read the raving reviews beforehand and needless to say, I was sure Chestnuts wouldn't disappoint me. Another thing I was excited about was Rodney Oliveiro. I knew he had participated in Chestnuts before but he didn't do Chestnuts Does Christmas and I wanted to see what he kind of an actor/performer he was.

Lady Gaga was playing on the speakers, a singer I'm sure many in the audience could identify with. As my dear friend, Miss Jay, once told me: Gaga is a lifestyle. Preach it, girlfriend! Finally, the seats began to fill and in the words of Ryan Seacrest: Dim the lights, here we go!

The cast for Chestnuts 3D are Jonathan Lim, Rodney Oliveiro, Judee Tan and Dwayne Lau.

It started, to my surprise, with the Glee sketch which was, as the title suggested, tied in with Nightmare on Elm Street. Rodney starred as Mr Krueger, the janitor who was wrongly accused of molesting a student when he was teaching her "jazz hands" and was Slushie-d to death by the parents when they heard he "jizzed on her hand". Hah! Leave it to Chestnuts to pull out the sexual innuendos less than 5 minutes into the play. Mr Krueger was then resurrected as the horrifying Freddy Krueger who swore revenge on the "annoying Glee kids".

Fans of Glee will enjoy this parody as they poke fun at Glee club singing with their high stools, Freddy's massacre and their comical way of dying. Kudos must really be given to Jonathan for portraying the character of Sue Sylvester in Sue's Corner. If Jonathan were a blonde, tracksuit wearing Causasian female and always angsty, he would inevitably be Sue Sylvester. Every word, down to the mannerisms and the arrogance, resembles thee original Sue Sylvester. And of course, where would Sue be without the famous catchphrase? And that's how Sue "Lees" it!

The audience became excited when Jonathan, dressed in a similar outfit to Kurt Hummel when he sang "Rose's Turn", appeared on stage. He stated (to the opening tune of Gaga's Alejandro) that he "can't keep up with this accent any longer" then proceeded to burst into tune of how he was asexual and he implored people to "don't call me(him) gay, don't call me gay, call me andro."

Special props have to be given to Dwayne Lau who did a magnificent impression of Figgins, right down to the accent and his obnoxiousness.

In the end, it took the combined efforts of, I can only assume, a pregnant Quinn (Judee Tan), Finn (Jonathan Lim) and Puck (Dwayne Lau) to talk Krueger down and convinced him that deep down, he wanted to be one of the Glee club. They then sang "We're all in Glee Together" and that drew the curtains on the first sketch of Chestnuts.

Disclaimer: Due to the lack of writing space and the fact that people are gonna go blind reading this on blogspot, I will not be going through all the sketches.