So earlier on I tweeted something about a change coming. How a life altering change is nearing and I can feel it. How I hope it would come faster. Well... I only have one thing to say. Two things, actually. Firstly, I was so wrong because the change I was expecting wasn't the change that came. Secondly, be careful what you wish for.
Something happened today. Something huge... something major... a life changing something. I can't talk about it here because it's not something I want to share with the entire world or anyone who has access to the Internet. But I need an outlet because now I'm nervous and my feelings are just all over the place. I don't think most people can help me with what I'm about to go through. I don't know how I'll be affected but I know it'll definitely be bad and it's going to be probably the most trying experience of my life.
I believe everything happens for a reason. And maybe there's a silver lining behind possibly the darkest cloud of my life. But I cannot imagine what good can come out of it because I know definitely for a fact, I'm not going to come out of this unscathed. It's going to affect me and I know it's not going to be good. With all these tribulations I'm going to face, how do you expect me to always look out for the freaking silver lining?
And seriously, it's not a minor issue I'm talking about here. It's really a major issue, one that has shaken us to our core. It's something that even I, for once, don't know how to handle, expect or face. I don't know what to expect, hell, I don't even know what's going to come. I don't know. And I don't know how to face something that's coming when I don't even know what's coming. And I think that's probably what scares me the most.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
what becomes of the broken hearted
I never thought I would be that emotionally invested in Idol. Honestly, I never thought I would. I've never been a real fan of Idol and it's the kind of show where I would watch if I happen to see it but I won't tune in week after week. And now... for the first time ever... I'm crying over it. I'm crying because everything is so cosmically wrong. I'm crying because everything's screwed up. And I'm crying because she's gone. Yes, I'm referring to Didi Benami.
I heard the news earlier this morning and I was in shock and very upset. Then a couple of hours passed and I thought I had reached an acceptance stage of what happened to her. I initially thought I would cry when I watched the results show but during the show, before her elimination, I had no surge of emotions yet. So I told myself, "Maybe I won't cry." But during her exit performance, I started to feel it. The rush of emotions which would activate my tear ducts. Then Simon delivered the verdict of doom and they were showing her exit package and the tears just flowed. And now it can't stop. At the end, oh crap, it's getting harder to write this...
At the end, she just broke down during her package and Siobhan and Crystal went for a hug before the whole group swarmed in. And my heart just broke. It just did. It's just so saddening for her and I felt it. Then the judges walked over to console her. I only have this to say to the judges, "Stop acting like you really feel sad. All of you are culpable for this."
For the first time in my history of watching Idol, I didn't scream at my TV screen. I didn't rage. I didn't have thoughts of taking a harpoon and stabbing people in the eye. I just stood up and walked to my room and cried. My heart sank into oblivion and it's going to take a while before I recover. Yes, I'm an emotionally fragile person and you know what? I'm proud of it. I'm proud of Didi for coming to the show and trying to carry on the torch for her friend. I'm proud that she didn't let the judges stereotype her into one genre. Now I wish Didi would tell me what becomes of the broken hearted......
If Didi could read this, this post is dedicated to you. I'm consoling myself by hoping that she would get picked up by a good record label. It's a long shot since she finished 10th but we all know she's not 10th position material. And I keep telling myself that I won't cry, but it's just difficult. I'm sorry.
I've emotionally disconnected from Idol and I swore I would not watch the rest of this season unless it's an interesting week or the finals where Kris will perform. And someday, maybe... hopefully... someday, Didi will come out with a chart topping album and come back to kick your asses.
I heard the news earlier this morning and I was in shock and very upset. Then a couple of hours passed and I thought I had reached an acceptance stage of what happened to her. I initially thought I would cry when I watched the results show but during the show, before her elimination, I had no surge of emotions yet. So I told myself, "Maybe I won't cry." But during her exit performance, I started to feel it. The rush of emotions which would activate my tear ducts. Then Simon delivered the verdict of doom and they were showing her exit package and the tears just flowed. And now it can't stop. At the end, oh crap, it's getting harder to write this...
At the end, she just broke down during her package and Siobhan and Crystal went for a hug before the whole group swarmed in. And my heart just broke. It just did. It's just so saddening for her and I felt it. Then the judges walked over to console her. I only have this to say to the judges, "Stop acting like you really feel sad. All of you are culpable for this."
For the first time in my history of watching Idol, I didn't scream at my TV screen. I didn't rage. I didn't have thoughts of taking a harpoon and stabbing people in the eye. I just stood up and walked to my room and cried. My heart sank into oblivion and it's going to take a while before I recover. Yes, I'm an emotionally fragile person and you know what? I'm proud of it. I'm proud of Didi for coming to the show and trying to carry on the torch for her friend. I'm proud that she didn't let the judges stereotype her into one genre. Now I wish Didi would tell me what becomes of the broken hearted......
If Didi could read this, this post is dedicated to you. I'm consoling myself by hoping that she would get picked up by a good record label. It's a long shot since she finished 10th but we all know she's not 10th position material. And I keep telling myself that I won't cry, but it's just difficult. I'm sorry.
I've emotionally disconnected from Idol and I swore I would not watch the rest of this season unless it's an interesting week or the finals where Kris will perform. And someday, maybe... hopefully... someday, Didi will come out with a chart topping album and come back to kick your asses.
an Idol sucks so bad now production
So I've not been posting anything for around a month and I'm going to start now and a note of caution... it's going to be Idol crazy on my blog.
Since the first live Idol performance show (Top 24), all the rage and fury that I've felt haven't really been appeased much. There's so many aspects that I'm angry about.
The first is that the stubborn and obnoxious contestants keep picking songs performed by Idol alumni, especially Season 8 champ Kris Allen (who you know I love) and botching it. First came Tim Urban's "Apologize" then Jermaine Sellers's "What's Going On". I get that contestants do songs that previous contestants have covered but not when firstly, it was performed last season and secondly, it was performed by the IDOL WINNER.
Part of the justice was served when Jermaine got voted off but Tim still remains... up to now. And I'm just so angry about it. Like give Kris some respect. I mean TPTB already hates him (I'll talk about that in a moment) for christ's sake. Don't insult him further by doing a wrecked up cover of a song he had an Idol moment with.
The next thing I'm angry with is that the judges keep slamming Didi week after week after freaking week. Fine, I get that some weeks were not as strong as others but no matter how she did, Didi on a bad day did not deserve the slamming that you guys never fail to serve her every week. It seems like the producers have a script where they have a plan to kick out certain contestants at certain points in the competition with Crystal ultimately ending up as the winner (I'll talk about that later too) and they're using the judges to ruin it for Didi every chance they get. You tried to throw Kris under the bus last season and I'm not over it. So now I hope that Didi wins just so to prove them stupid people wrong.
Thirdly, stop pimping so hard for Crystal. I have a theory on why the producers are so hell bent on having Bowersox as the champ. It's because she's the only contestant who has been consistently performing on the show. But in retrospect, Crystal has never had an Idol moment. Andrew had it with 'Straight Up', Didi had it with 'Terrified' and to a certain extent, 'Rhiannon' and Siobhan had it with 'House of The Rising Sun'. If you want to compare, shouldn't these contestants be the ones who have a better shot at the crown? I mean at least they've shown what they can do but Crystal has not proven herself enough.
I'll put it out there that I HATE Crystal and it's not because of her. I like her personality, sometimes it's funny and she can, as Slezak puts it, tame Simon and not get burned. I blame it all on the judges especially that stupid Brit sitting at the end of the table and starting almost every sentence with "I genuinely, honestly believe with all my heart blah blah blah..." (Screw you, I don't want to know what else you have to say. TOOL.) He keeps pimping Crystal so hard (remember when he was giving advice to the contestants in general for Top 11 week and described Crystal as being in a "different league"?) and it's making me hate her.
Finally, the last thing I'm really really really angry about, is WHY THE HELL WON'T IDOL GIVE KRIS ANY RESPECT? HE HAS ALREADY WON FREAKING IDOL FOR F**K'S SAKE! SHOW HIM SOME RESPECT, YOU DUMB SHITS. The judges refuse to say anything nice about Kris or reference him in any way during their critiques even when they can (like when they were critiquing 'What's Going On' and when Simon told Aaron that he has seen 'Ain't No Sunshine' performed "brilliantly many times" when it was only covered by Kris and another contestant in SEASON 1) and I'm just so sick of TPTB working against Kris even almost a year after his deserving victory. Adam has already been referenced once or twice. To top it off, executive producer of Idol, Mr Ken Warwick, forgot Kris's name during an interview with E! Entertainment and his PR had to remind him and yet he called Kris "that guy". To Mr Warwick, I only have this to say "Screw you, and your stupid group of f**ked up producers. And FYI 'that guy' kicked your guys' asses."
P.S. TPTB = The Powers That Be a.k.a Idol Producers
Since the first live Idol performance show (Top 24), all the rage and fury that I've felt haven't really been appeased much. There's so many aspects that I'm angry about.
The first is that the stubborn and obnoxious contestants keep picking songs performed by Idol alumni, especially Season 8 champ Kris Allen (who you know I love) and botching it. First came Tim Urban's "Apologize" then Jermaine Sellers's "What's Going On". I get that contestants do songs that previous contestants have covered but not when firstly, it was performed last season and secondly, it was performed by the IDOL WINNER.
Part of the justice was served when Jermaine got voted off but Tim still remains... up to now. And I'm just so angry about it. Like give Kris some respect. I mean TPTB already hates him (I'll talk about that in a moment) for christ's sake. Don't insult him further by doing a wrecked up cover of a song he had an Idol moment with.
The next thing I'm angry with is that the judges keep slamming Didi week after week after freaking week. Fine, I get that some weeks were not as strong as others but no matter how she did, Didi on a bad day did not deserve the slamming that you guys never fail to serve her every week. It seems like the producers have a script where they have a plan to kick out certain contestants at certain points in the competition with Crystal ultimately ending up as the winner (I'll talk about that later too) and they're using the judges to ruin it for Didi every chance they get. You tried to throw Kris under the bus last season and I'm not over it. So now I hope that Didi wins just so to prove them stupid people wrong.
Thirdly, stop pimping so hard for Crystal. I have a theory on why the producers are so hell bent on having Bowersox as the champ. It's because she's the only contestant who has been consistently performing on the show. But in retrospect, Crystal has never had an Idol moment. Andrew had it with 'Straight Up', Didi had it with 'Terrified' and to a certain extent, 'Rhiannon' and Siobhan had it with 'House of The Rising Sun'. If you want to compare, shouldn't these contestants be the ones who have a better shot at the crown? I mean at least they've shown what they can do but Crystal has not proven herself enough.
I'll put it out there that I HATE Crystal and it's not because of her. I like her personality, sometimes it's funny and she can, as Slezak puts it, tame Simon and not get burned. I blame it all on the judges especially that stupid Brit sitting at the end of the table and starting almost every sentence with "I genuinely, honestly believe with all my heart blah blah blah..." (Screw you, I don't want to know what else you have to say. TOOL.) He keeps pimping Crystal so hard (remember when he was giving advice to the contestants in general for Top 11 week and described Crystal as being in a "different league"?) and it's making me hate her.
Finally, the last thing I'm really really really angry about, is WHY THE HELL WON'T IDOL GIVE KRIS ANY RESPECT? HE HAS ALREADY WON FREAKING IDOL FOR F**K'S SAKE! SHOW HIM SOME RESPECT, YOU DUMB SHITS. The judges refuse to say anything nice about Kris or reference him in any way during their critiques even when they can (like when they were critiquing 'What's Going On' and when Simon told Aaron that he has seen 'Ain't No Sunshine' performed "brilliantly many times" when it was only covered by Kris and another contestant in SEASON 1) and I'm just so sick of TPTB working against Kris even almost a year after his deserving victory. Adam has already been referenced once or twice. To top it off, executive producer of Idol, Mr Ken Warwick, forgot Kris's name during an interview with E! Entertainment and his PR had to remind him and yet he called Kris "that guy". To Mr Warwick, I only have this to say "Screw you, and your stupid group of f**ked up producers. And FYI 'that guy' kicked your guys' asses."
P.S. TPTB = The Powers That Be a.k.a Idol Producers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)