can't wait to break free

today's post will be quite a long one i suspect. my closer friends might know what im talking abt so if u don't, just be honoured that im sharing this with u. at sch i try to act normal. like im some carefree person, with no worries in the world and cannot be bothered abt failing grades. well, actually i do care, but its just tt i feel tt no matter how u feel sry over it, its nt gg to change anything, so i get over my abysmal grades pretty fast.which makes pple think i feel no remorse over my grades. anyway, i actually feel damn stressed. in sch im nt treated as an equal and yes, u know who im talking abt, if said person actually gives a damn to read my blog. which i rly cannot be fucked. sry for the swearing, its just i have tolerated said person since time immemorial and said person is rly getting on my nerves. then at home, where one actually relaxes, watch tv, eat dinner with one's family happily, one wuld expect me to be happy and relaxed and be the i-can't-wait-to-be-home kind of person. but on the contrary, that's nt the case at all. my family is rly screwed up, save for one special person. she and i get along very well now. though ironically, in the past, we were constantly at each other's necks. haha, guess this is what u call fate. anyway, if it weren't for her, i probably wuld have a mental breakdown. some of u r gg "bullshit!" but its rly true. i have parents who put in a lot of effort into raising us up. i don't deny that. however, they cannot seem to live past the 1960s and furthermore, they have absolutely no people skills. they favour my sis and the special person and me usually gets majority of the blame. and especially when my mum suffers frm the cup ring syndrome (cup ring syndrome refers to how ur mum starts scolding u abt leaving a cup mark on the table, then proceeds to reprimand u abt how useless u r and how u can actually fold the clothes while watching tv, then goes on to other stuff, etc., u get the point.), she tends to go into a rampage where things get ugly. if u hear the stuff she says abt her own child, trust me, u wuld be appalled. rly appalled. shocked beyond words. then on to my dad, while he doesn't spew rubbish out of his mouth, he tends to favour my sis. my sis this, my sis that. and everything becomes abt her. of course he does it subtlely but it is still quite obvious. and when i try to talk to him abt it, he dismisses it and says im being oversensitive and that i shuld stop being jealous of my sis. im oso told that i shuld nt bear grudges against my family members and live harmoniously.which is all fucking bullshit and the fucking diplomatic answer which is nt what im seeking for. of course these r all the tip of the iceberg, but unfortunately, i cannot say more. "don't hang one's dirty laundry in public". the reason y im doing this post is cuz i cannot find an outlet to vent my frustration except thru this. if said person reads this, i have a message for u. fucking get a life and leave me alone. stop acting like a fucking immature bastard and grow up. u r freaking 18 yrs and acting like a goddamn 4 yr old, u shuld be more ashamed than me asshole.