can't wait to break free

today's post will be quite a long one i suspect. my closer friends might know what im talking abt so if u don't, just be honoured that im sharing this with u. at sch i try to act normal. like im some carefree person, with no worries in the world and cannot be bothered abt failing grades. well, actually i do care, but its just tt i feel tt no matter how u feel sry over it, its nt gg to change anything, so i get over my abysmal grades pretty fast.which makes pple think i feel no remorse over my grades. anyway, i actually feel damn stressed. in sch im nt treated as an equal and yes, u know who im talking abt, if said person actually gives a damn to read my blog. which i rly cannot be fucked. sry for the swearing, its just i have tolerated said person since time immemorial and said person is rly getting on my nerves. then at home, where one actually relaxes, watch tv, eat dinner with one's family happily, one wuld expect me to be happy and relaxed and be the i-can't-wait-to-be-home kind of person. but on the contrary, that's nt the case at all. my family is rly screwed up, save for one special person. she and i get along very well now. though ironically, in the past, we were constantly at each other's necks. haha, guess this is what u call fate. anyway, if it weren't for her, i probably wuld have a mental breakdown. some of u r gg "bullshit!" but its rly true. i have parents who put in a lot of effort into raising us up. i don't deny that. however, they cannot seem to live past the 1960s and furthermore, they have absolutely no people skills. they favour my sis and the special person and me usually gets majority of the blame. and especially when my mum suffers frm the cup ring syndrome (cup ring syndrome refers to how ur mum starts scolding u abt leaving a cup mark on the table, then proceeds to reprimand u abt how useless u r and how u can actually fold the clothes while watching tv, then goes on to other stuff, etc., u get the point.), she tends to go into a rampage where things get ugly. if u hear the stuff she says abt her own child, trust me, u wuld be appalled. rly appalled. shocked beyond words. then on to my dad, while he doesn't spew rubbish out of his mouth, he tends to favour my sis. my sis this, my sis that. and everything becomes abt her. of course he does it subtlely but it is still quite obvious. and when i try to talk to him abt it, he dismisses it and says im being oversensitive and that i shuld stop being jealous of my sis. im oso told that i shuld nt bear grudges against my family members and live harmoniously.which is all fucking bullshit and the fucking diplomatic answer which is nt what im seeking for. of course these r all the tip of the iceberg, but unfortunately, i cannot say more. "don't hang one's dirty laundry in public". the reason y im doing this post is cuz i cannot find an outlet to vent my frustration except thru this. if said person reads this, i have a message for u. fucking get a life and leave me alone. stop acting like a fucking immature bastard and grow up. u r freaking 18 yrs and acting like a goddamn 4 yr old, u shuld be more ashamed than me asshole.

im so freaking screwed......

i. am. so. freaking. screwed. exams is in less than 2 wks and i haven't started studying. OMG!!!! and i just looked at the lit essay that i am supposed to do and i dunno how to start!!!!!!!! i need divine intervention. literally. i try to start studying but then always got no mood to do so. either i d/l anime, or watching anime or reading manga. (yes, i know im an anime freak, my blog webby says it all though.) ok, i just decided that i will start studying seriously frm today onwards, and im oso hoping i got mood to go exercise. lol, parents bugging me to do so cuz hols no p.e. lessons. and i just realised p.e. lessons nt tt bad......haha, its quite exhausting cuz i 10000 yrs nvr exercise (yes, i know, my bad. happy?) but it helps, or at least i do. just went cycling a few days back and i feel slimmer. hahaha. its true though. then i drank 2 cups of bubble tea in 3 days. (tt one nt my fault hor, i nvr ask for it, my sis buy for me one. hahaha) i feel so sinful now and fat cuz apparently 1 cup of bubble tea gives ur body more than what u lose when u run 3.6km or smth. learnt it in p.e lecture, haha. (yes, p.e. got lecture, suckers.....hahaha.) so now, i decided that i will drink bubble tea w.out pearls. AND I WILL!!! but one thing i won't cut down on is ben & jerry's. LOL. i oso decided my fridge confirm must have 1 tub of ben & jerry's ice cream. favourite flavor so far is new york super fudge chunk. YUMMY!!! i want to try the chocolate fudge brownie. and its the top 3 flavours, haha, i gt good taste. anyway, since i started on B&J's, i nvr touch any other brand of ice cream alr, except perhaps haagen dazs. i have high class taste as well. o.O *look of realisation*

IM SO HAPPY!!!

YAY!!! ITS FINALLY FREAKING OUT!! THE FULL VERSION OF REGRET!!! omg, i have been waiting for the full version since it first aired on d.gray man. haha, sry, i know most of u dunno what im talking abt but i rly had to make a short post to announce that its here cuz i have been watiting damn long. can finally put it on my damn blog. hahahaha. WOOOT!!!!!

HOLS!!!

hey 1t11, its the freaking hols finally!! WOOT!! im damn freaking happy. anyway, i just realised my last post is almost a mth away. im pretty sure this blog is gg to go dwn like my previous blogs. (notice the 's' at the back. haha) anyway, its nt party time yet as i reaslied cuz we have 3 more exams at the end of this mth. and to top it off, it starts on the last day of hols, a friday. SERIOUSLY, im damn freaking pissed. i mean is it so hard to let us "enjoy" our hols?? can't my sch be magnanimous enuff to have the WHOLE FREAKING HOLS to ourselves????? what's with the stupid rush to end the exams 1 day earlier?? anyway, just thought i would congratulate 1t11 for successfully completing out H1 papers. jia you for H2 papers next, ok? anyway, im kind of sad now. lost my stupid wallet in the bloody sch canteen. partly my fault cuz i accidentally left it on the canteen table but y must pple be so greedy? geez, i only had less than 5 bucks in there. i hope someone rly returns it cuz my I.C is in there. curse the idiot who took it, sometimes i don't understand y they must build their happiness on other pple's sufferings? i mean, all im asking for is just my I.C back. take the ez link and money, srsly, i cannot be fucked. ur parents must be damn broke if u r that desperate. and furthermore, i lost it in MY OWN SCHOOL. i had to go make a police report as well cuz in case the damn assshole who took my wallet decided to be a naughty boy with it. its called a CATHOLIC school for a reason, i mean hell, even the school is named CATHOLIC junior college. im pretty sure stealing isn't something jesus condoned. must bro paul always make an announcement b4 the thief decides that his "prank" has gone too far? another student lost his wallet as well and got it back cuz bro paul announced we shuld feel ashamed for having a thief among our midst. i know sometimes we r all nt saints, we have tendencies, urges, temptation, yada yada yada. but pls at least spare a thought for the person who lost their wallet, asshole. is it so hard to just take the money? isn't that what u want?? y can't u relinquish control over MY freaking IC and wallet and ez link card??? oh, i tried to stop myself but i alr took the wallet and im afraid pple find out?? its not as if u need it ffs!!! and well, i am trying to not punch u but my fist is alr in the air!!! if u r scared they suspect u for taking the wallet when u return it, ITS UR FAULT cuz u rly did take it. no one forced u to take it, so face the damn music. im nt going to go into the whole "how wuld u feel if it happened to u?" thing cuz its so yesterday but all i have to say to u is 2 things, first, i hope u get the retribution u duly deserve and secondly, u shuld feel ashamed of urself for tormenting others.

reflection?

sry i took so long to make a new post. JC life rly is bz, i end late everyday that when i come home i go play my games instead of blogging cuz i want to destress. i mean srsly, like i have extra classes almost every day.....like wth? as if its nt enuff that everyday i confirm have unfinished work, im still bogged dwn by extra classes. even with the extra classes, im still failing, well maybe its my fault cuz sometimes i fall aslp. haha. and its nt as if stay like 5 mins away frm cjc.....and my parents say i shuld have gone poly or mjc instead? hello? u want me to choose my school according to the distance i travel?? do u happen to know it affects my future?? anyway, i want to talk abt smth else other than bitching abt jc life.....everyone knows it sucks, they don't need me to "verbalise" it. hell, i don't even take photos now. haha. yeah, so back to what i was going to say. way b4, when i just started in cjc, i used to be super crazy over sajc. like way crazy......everytime i see a saint i stop my fren and go "omg! sajc.....". haha, those were the days. then now, i rly don't have this kind of reaction anymore. i mean i still feel sad over nt getting it but those feelings sort of "calmed down" alr. i know some of u r going "bullshit!". haha, its true. like when my econs teacher said she was frm sajc, and my class started looking at me, im pretty sure i would have gone "omg, sajc...." but instead i was like "oh rly?" then i rly tot it was nothing. even now when i see a saint, i don't have that extreme reaction anymore. i only bitch abt the fact that their uniform is damn nice and some of my frens agree to it as well. i rmb when i was lamenting abt how i couldn't got into sajc to like a few pple, i got mixed replies but generally the same. some were like "well, make the best out of it", my sji form teacher went "a lot of pple want to get into cjc but they can't. since u r in there, treasure it" and i was like "but i don't want to be in cjc". god, i sounded like a kid. haha. anyway, i rmb this reaction the best and i think im starting to believe it though im nt a Christian. my fren told me "God sent u there for a reason". and no offence to Christians but i was skeptical as to what God could offer me in cjc......then now i realise. maybe the reason i was sent to cjc was so i could meet nice pple. my class has been extremely nice and i've oso met a couple of other nice pple that r nt frm my class. now i realise maybe the reason i was sent here was so i culd actually meet good pple for once, trust me when i say i have met a few good men since pri sch. but sometimes i rly wonder is it my luck or is it im destined to have an imperfection in every class i am in.....i nvr seem to have a perfect class cuz something is there to spoil it. well, im pretty sure other pple share the same sentiments but i shall nt jump to conclusions. anyway, 2mrw is the "last day" of sch for the wk cuz thurs is public hol and fri is sports carnival which literally means no lessons. WOOT!! gl 1t11, jia you for chem/hist and gp cuz its the earliest papers we have, like b4 the june hols. *sobz* hope u guys enjoyed ur B&J's free cone day. hahaha.

very stressful JC life......

term 2 is so packed. we have like remedial lessons every other day. stupid school. they tell us "oh, u have early days on mondays and fridays." bullshit. have they checked our timetables? obviously not. then as if they regret giving us early days on mondays and fridays, they pack the lessons for tuesdays to thursdays and hence, we end at 4 pm. plus our remedials, we end at 5. sometimes i wish i went to poly instead, but poly no student's fare for transport. HAHA. to top things off, i nvr got a cca, and the deadline is today. kai wei told me to go for the bridge meeting this wednesday. she said don't care just go and see if they can accept me. i did try to get a cca, but interact was packed and i dunno who the teacher-in-charge of bridge club is. neither does mr wei loon. i rly hope i get accepted, it feels damn weird to not have one and my testimonial will suck like shit. anyway, the homework load is getting heavier and heavier. my shoulders ache frm carrying my bag all around. and im totally clueless for some topics in maths, sometimes i think im going to fail maths like the whole year round. haha, but must try still, a'levels get a fail looks ugly on my certificate. just handed in my lit essay today, i rly hope i can get into the cambridge program thingy. its so cool and it will rly help to make us understand Othello more cuz they will talk abt how the play will be acted out, etc etc. OH, AND WE GET TO GO TO THE LONDON GLOBE THEATER AND WATCH KING LEAR!!!!!! ok, i only heard of king lear but nvr read it, but still THE LONDON GLOBE THEATER, OMG!! like how often can u step into that place unless u book some tour package thingy....and even so, it will cost a bomb. its 2 weeks though, i will miss home. miss my friends. miss my computer. yada yada yada. ok, i got to sign off now, its already late and my dad is making noise, as usual. i will post up pics during my next post probably, got one of solomon in a cap but i go no time to post it up. HAHA, he looks super cute cuz he like little boy like that. anyway, to my class 1t11, i know the workload is insane cuz i oso super lazy one, but must jia you ok? and thanks to my "sisters" - sherrie, christabel, bonnie, anne - and my "brother" , yun song, who very kindly cheer me on while im dying during mass pe. hahaha.

first day after the long wkend.....

just came back frm ptm, srsly, dunno y they forced the students down anyway, its so parent orientated. first they came up with some crap that MSN chatting poses a danger to J1 students just bcuz they cannot figure out y pple can talk for few hrs. that is so illogical and bullshit-y. show me 1 person who cannot talk for few hrs and i will show u 100 others who can. MSN chatting has been ard since time immemorial, so pray tell, if it wasn't "dangerous" in pri sch and sec sch, in what way did it turn "dangerous" in jc? nvm that, parents apparently "have the right to know everything" just bcuz they "give us pocket money". ok, i don't rly disagree with that, but i think the grounds they use is total crap. then apparently, our social life is oso a "danger" to us, wow......now we r not allowed to have a social life bcuz we r encouraged not to "reach home ard 8/9pm"......that is the most retarded and stupidest statement i've ever hear. the whole ptm was i think meant for parents only and i see no reason for us students to be there and listen to crap. btw, surprise, surprise, i PASSED MY GP!!! i tot i wuld fail cuz i nvr even prepared for it. haha, got 30/50, 2nd highest. cheers to me!!! anyway, i promised keith i wuld take photos of the front row pple and imma upload them now. still damn freaking ass pissed at the stupid ptm. note to self keith, stop acting dao......LOL!!! the mahjong photo is a random photo, just wanted to brag abt my tian hu......means i won the moment i open my cards. and the full row pic is a bit blur, sry, my phone super sai. only 2 megapix so got the light reflection in the back. sry keith, mark and marissa. promise take a nicer one next time. the next photo i super pai seh, i so fat then marissa so skinny, we look so weird together. HAHA!!

SAJC!!!

ok, considering that people around me knows about my obsession to get into SAJC, i figured if i didn't do a post on it, its damn weird. so sry, 1T11, don't screw me, i have to do it. if u find it sensitive, i dunno, don't read or tag abt it....im sure it will make a good topic for discussion. haha. anyway, i just completed the PW wksht that mr wei loon called us to do and its damn brain draining. wtf. ok, on to my real post. i try to make it short for my class pple cuz i know its very sensitive. basically, i rly rly rly rly rly x 1000 want to get into SAJC, cuz its very slack and rly happening. i mean like they even have a student's cafe or something for students to relax and just chill during breaks. CJC doesn't have that *sobz*. call me materialistic, but whatever, these kind of things affect the impression i have of the jc, seriously. anyway, raw score i got was 15 points. after subtracting the bonus points i only got 11. and to my dismay, SAJC's cut off rose to freaking 9 points. but obviously i went to appeal lah, if nt confirm no choice mah, i even wrote a letter to the principal stating my reasons for joining. haiz......but nvr work obviously. so i even went down personally to request an audience with the principal and even missed my binomial theorem bridging so now im basically screwed cuz i know next to nothing abt binomial theorem. anyway, the woman in the G.O turned me down saying there's no vacancy left and i was like "that's total bullshit!" cuz i saw an anglican high girl with her parents walking into the principal's office and i highly doubt she is there for reasons not related to a failed appeal. anyway, i felt damn sad......so i just left feeling damn bad. cheers to andrew who accompanied me down there to give me support. he suggested going over to his place to play cards cuz i was damn sad. ty, it rly helped. u r always there when i need support, though i know u have this irresistible urge to bitch me. don't deny it, u know every word u say is dripping with sarcasm. anyway, that's it for today's post lah. rly nth to talk abt, i have been mentally drained by the stupid wksht i just completed which is a total waste of time seeing as how im pretty sure no one will put effort into it.

my body is made of tofu.....LOL!!

today i couldn't go to school cuz i injured my body in 2 places. my head and my legs. god, seriously, at this rate, i will break like every bone in my body within the next 2 years cuz cjc's p.e. is hell. like hell x 1000......at least for someone as unfit as me. like i can't even run 2 rounds on the track which is nt even freaking 400m, its like 339m only. *sobz* i feel so demoralized.....kill me. anyway, i injured my leg while jumping over the gate during p.e. on tuesday and it hurts like hell whenever i walk, frm the sole to the ankle. and thanks to my clumsiness, i slipped and fell , resulting in me landing face up and hitting my head. since then, i get pounding headaches. i did get those before i fell, but the fall seems to have aggravated it. it now lasts the whole day. and especially when im in maths or some ridiculously content loaded subject lecture, it gets even worse. to top it off, i even get motion sickness now, making me incompatible with cars or taxis cuz i feel like throwing up. went to see a doctor today but she says it has nth to do with my fall......thank god, i was getting worried. she says my headaches is due to some tension thingy and the motion sickness is cuz my balance has been thrown off due to the fall. dunno what that means, i only got the last part of her sentence. and the pain in my leg is fine, its cuz im too freaking heavy and it caused a large impact on my leg when i landed. anyway, cheers to andrew. ty for coming over to accompany me....haha, had fun playing yugioh though i always lose to ur freaking gay, disgustingly overpowered deck. seriously, go join a competition and win some prizes. stop saying u r an amateur cuz u know u r not. hope u did nt get screwed today for going home late though, sry, haha. i see a lot of pple complaining abt mass p.e and i feel like saying my bit though. MASS P.E. SUCKS TO THE CORE!! p.e. lessons always have been retarded and it serves no purpose except to turn u into those fitness-crazy pple u see walking on the street where their only aim is to turn their 6-packs into 8-packs.....or 8 into 10, whatever, i cannot be bothered. fine, its suppose to make u fit and healthy but its seriously not going to be of any practical use in society. im so sure all bosses out there wants pple who can run at least 2 rounds on a 400m track. and im even more sure being able to complete 2.4km and do pull-ups enables me to so go far in life. and if p.e. lesson rly helps pple get fit, y do i see obese/fat pple out on the street? seriously, being fat/obesity has become integrated into our society just like smoking. u cannot eradicate that "problem" so stop trying. even like 1000 p.e. lessons won't do anything to help......cuz sure, u can make pple lose weight for the time being, but u cannot control them and make sure they won't put on weight in future. its useless, retarded and only makes pple get muscle cramps and be so exhausted, they fall asleep in lectures. yup, i now see the beauty of p.e. lessons, not. i hate p.e, sue me, whatever, i officially cannot be bothered.
anyway, im wearing my SAJC shirt....haha, it feels weird though cuz im nt a student of SAJC. but i got this like very prestigious feeling....like, wah, SA.....then got the big SAINT at the back somemore. hahaha. 1T11, sry hor, cannot drop my obsession with SAJC, don't blame me. haha. anyway, was watching "ellen" today. for those of u who dunno what it is, its a self titled talk show hosted by ellen degeneres. she is witty, humorous and way cool. she totally rocks. and i want to end this with an abstract from her stand up comedy "here and now" just for laughs. "and the local news, man, they want u to watch ever broadcast they've got, don't they? its nt good enuff u r watching the one u r watching, they give u these teasers to get u to watch later on. they r so incredibly cruel." *imitates newscaster's deep voice and gives a serious look* "it could be the most deadly thing in the world and u may be having it for dinner, we'll tell u what it is tonight at 11." *stares at spoon in hand, gives a disgusted look and asks* "is it peas?" *sighs and pushes dinner plate away* LOL

today at school

ok, with the fun part abt the photos over (hoped everyone liked it), its time to get to more serious stuff. today was a pretty tiring day at school, i slept late yesterday and i basically kept falling asleep in lectures today. we had a MI test today which i thought i rly cmi, but lo and behold, i actually just passed. hahaha......provided mr wei loon decides nt to take away a mark which he actually can cuz i nvr rly simplify properly. but i pray he does not, mr wei loon, if u see this, i know u very nice one. don't penalise me ok?? hahaha. oh, we were given an extension of our econs project, WOOT!!!, but our grp hasn't started yet....omg, must piah like mad during wkends, haha. lucky got good friday, i so love hols. jc life getting more difficult alr, sometimes i dunno y i chose H2 Maths, seriously. ok, im rambling, but i rly dunno what else to say except that i hate the p.e. lessons in CJC, its so tiring and me being unfit cannot run.....*sobz* oh i oso feel quite sad cuz i think my lit teacher is going to change. the current one is a j3 and she has to go to university......*sobz*.......she is rly very nice and a rly good teacher at that as well. i hope that she will nt be changed away but i think that is nt possible. i dunno if its possible but lets throw a farewell party for her ok?? i think she is rly very nice.....cheers for miss ooi......HAHAHA.....u rock as a lit teacher. ok, that's it for today, i hope to make a new post 2mrw abt something more exciting than school life. hahaha. oh, anyone frm 1T11 seeing this can add me to ur links in ur blog, then more pple can come and see. HAHAHA!!!

my very fun classmates

ever since i started this blog, i've become photo crazy........keep pestering my friends to take photos. HAHAHA.....finally got some of them to agree.....let's go thru them 1 by 1.....first up is my sista bonnie , who obviously rejected my request, and i had to steal a shot of her.....and the guy opposite her is jackson.......say cheese, u r on my blog....my phone is only 2 megapixel which totally sucks. that's y some of the photos r nt very clear. the next photo is of elissa and kai wei........kai wei don't be angry hor, i alr put a nicer looking photo of u as promised. LOL. they didn't want their full face to be shown, beats me y......but some say its quite a cute photo. then the 3rd photo is of christabel david and sherrie. i actually took this photo to make fun of them, hehe, cuz christabel looked funny, but apparently, its a classic photo and wanted by some of the other pple......take a look. the last photo was taken cuz jesmine was too camera shy to have a solo photo, so she dragged elissa and kai wei in. going by the theme of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil", let's put our hands together for elissa, jesmine and kai wei. *claps*

SAJC shirt!!!!

ok, just got to blog abt this.....I FINALLY GOT MY SAJC SHIRT!!! WOOT!!! fine, its not exactly the one i wanted.....the one where "saints nvr hang up their halos" or something. but i don't rly mind......the shirt looks rly nice. i so got to upload it on my blog. HAHAHA.

my life in junior college

hihi.....this is my new blog, after the one which failed like in secondary school. i will try to keep up with this blog but sometimes im so lazy, i don't feel like doing it....hahaha.......anyway, as mentioned, my aim was to enter SAJC, but cuz i failed to make the cut off point, i was obviously rejected, even through appeal. *sobz* my classmates in CJC have been quite nice and have been trying to comfort me, but to no avail cuz everytime i see a Saint, i go WTF?!?! hahaha......cheers to kai wei a.k.a princess, bonnie a.k.a my sister, jesmine, elissa, isaiah, solomon and jackson......staying back to play bridge rly helped me to get across this mourning period of mine.....especially to kai wei and bonnie, its nt ur fault guys, its just my problem and obsession with getting into SAJC but ty for trying to help me tide over it. Hope this helps u guys rmb the fun times, hehe. anyway, my class is rly fun and i hope we have more memories we can cherish over the next 1 year and 9 mths......